Ah... spelling is key, Marty!! :P

AY ABUELITA !

LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER ASK A PUERTO RICAN GRANDMA A QUESTION IF THEY AREN'T PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER.

DURING A TRIAL IN A SMALL TOWN IN PUERTO RICO , THE PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS, AN ELDERLY PUERTO RICAN ABUELITA TO THE STAND.

HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, "SENORA SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW ME?"

SHE RESPONDED, "SI, I KNOW YOU MR. WILLIAMS. I KNOW YOU SINCE YOU WERE A MOCOSO PENDEJO, AND FRANKLY YOU'VE BEEN A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME, TO YOUR FAMILY AND TO YOUR COMMUNITY. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, AND YOU MANIPULATE PEOPLE, AND YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU ARE NADA, PURA BASURA. YES, I KNOW YOU BABOSO."

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED, NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, MRS. SANCHEZ, "DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?"

AGAIN SHE REPLIED, "CLARO QUE SI. I'VE KNOWN MR. RODRIGUEZ SINCE HE WAS A MOCOSO TRAVIESO TOO. HE'S A LAZY PUTO, AND HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T KEEP A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH NOBODY, AND HE IS THE MOST PENDEJO LAWYER IN THE STATE. NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PUTAS. ONE OF THEM WAS YOUR WIFE! YOU REMEMBER?
I KNOW MR. RODRIGUEZ; HIS MAMA IS NOT PROUD OF HIM TAMBIEN." THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED.

THE JUDGE THEN ASKED BOTH COUNSELORS TO APPROACH THE BENCH, AND IN A VERY QUIET DEADLY CALM VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU CABRONES ASKS HER IF SHE KNOWS ME, I'LL SEND YOU BOTH TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.