Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
Topic Options
#133589 - 01/05/01 05:21 AM Another joke!
Tomie Offline
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!

1. Ahhh...I see the f**k up fairy has visited us again.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Top
#133590 - 01/05/01 08:15 AM Re: Another joke!
Sandshaker Offline
Creation of World - Modern Version

1. In the beginning GOD created the
Bit and the Byte. And from those
he created the Word.

2. And there were two Bytes in the
Word; and nothing else existed.
And God separated the One from
the Zero; and he saw it was good.

3. And God said - Let the Data be;
And so it happened.
And God said - Let the Data go to
their proper places.
And he created floppy disks and
hard disks and compact disks.

4. And God said - Let the computers
be, so there would be a place to
put floppy disks and hard disks
and compact disks. Thus God created
computers and called them hardware.

5. And there was no Software yet. But
God created programs; small and big...
And told them - Go and multiply
yourselves and fill all the Memory.

6. And God said -I will create the
Programmer;
And the Programmer will make
new programs and govern over the
computers and programs and Data.

7. And God created the Programmer;
and put him at Data Center;
And God showed the Programmer
the Catalog Tree and said You can use
all the volumes and subvolumes
but DO NOT USE Windows.

8. And God said - It is not Good for
the programmer to be alone.
He took a bone from the Programmer's
body and created a creature that would
look up at the Programmer; and admire
the Programmer; and love the things
the Programmer does; And God called
the creature: The User.

9. And the Programmer and the User
were left under the naked DOS and it
was good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the
other creatures of God.
And Bill said to the User - Did
God really tell you not to run any
programs?

11. And the User answered - God told
us that we can use every program
and every piece of Data but told
us not to run Windows or we will
die.

12. And Bill said to the User - How
can you talk about something you did
not even try. The moment you run
Windows you will become equal to God.
You will be able to create anything
you like by a simple click of your
mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits
of the Windows were nicer and
easier to use. And the User saw
that any knowledge was useless -
since Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows
on his computer; and said to the
Programmers that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately
started to look for new drivers.
And God asked him - What are you
looking for? And the Programmer
answered - I am looking for new
drivers because I can not find them
in the DOS. And God said - Who told
you that you need drivers? Did you
run Windows? And the Programmer said -
It was Bill who told us to!

16. And God said to Bill - Because of
what you did you will be hated by
all the creatures. And the User
will always be unhappy with you.
And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User - Because
of what you did, the Windows will
disappoint you and eat up all your
Resources; and you will have to
use lousy programs; and you will
always rely on the Programmers help.

18. And God said to the Programmer -
Because you listened to the User
you will never be happy. All your
programs will have errors and you
will have to fix them and fix them
to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data
Center and locked the door and secured
it with a password.

20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT

Top

Links
Click for excellent scuba lessons with Elbert Greer!


Things to do

News
Daily News
Daily Weather

Classified Ads
BelizeNews.com
San Pedro Sun
Ambergris Today
SP Town Council
Channel 7
Channel 5
Amandala
Love FM
The Reporter
Caye Caulker
Chronicles

PLUS TV
TV Newscasts
Radio Stations

Click for our
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites

Event Guides
Event Calendar
Specials & Events
Things to Do
SanPedroScoop
iTravel Belize
Paradise Theater

Blogs
San Pedro Scoop!
Tia Chocolate
Tacogirl
My Beautiful Belize
I-Travel Belize
Belize Adventure
Belize Hub
Romantic Travel
Bound for Belize
Conch Creative
As The Coconuts Drop
More Blogs...
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites
Chaa Creek is an award-winning luxury Belize Resort, rated as one of the worlds best Eco Lodges. We are a pioneer in adventure travel to Belize since 1981!
White Sands Dive Shop - 5 Star PADI Dive Facility - Daily diving, SCUBA instruction and Snorkeling
Caribbean Inspired All Natural Condiments & Spice Blends, Over 100 are Gluten Free!
We manage a variety of homes, apartments, condos and commercial properties here on Ambergris Caye. Our minimum lease on ALL properties is six months.
Conch Shell Inn: All rooms are right on the beach in the heart of San Pedro, so within walking distance to anything and everything!!
Lilí Alphonse has snorkel equipment to fit anyone as well as Marine Park Tickets and flotation devices to assist those not as experienced.
Coastal Xpress offers a daily scheduled ferry run to most resorts, restaurants and private piers on the island of Anbergris Caye. We also offer  private and charter water taxi service.
Mini Chat

Cayo Espanto
Click for Cayo Espanto, and have your own private island
More Links
Click for exciting and adventurous tours of Belize with Katie Valk!
December
S M T W T F S
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Who's Online
0 registered (), 27 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
18,675 Registered Members
44 Forums
64,058 Topics
462,302 Posts

Most users ever online: 1,262 @ 06/10/07 07:16 PM




AmbergrisCaye.com CayeCaulker.org HELP! Visitor Center Goods & Services San Pedro Town
BelizeSearch.com Message Board Lodging Diving Fishing Things to Do History
BelizeNews.com Maps Phonebook Belize Business Directory
BelizeCards.com SanPedroDaily.com Picture of the Day

The opinions and views expressed on this board are the subjective opinions of Ambergris Caye Message Board members
and not of the Ambergris Caye Message Board its affiliates, or its employees.