I was in a store with my ten-year-old son. We happened to
walk by the condom display, and my boy asked, "What are these, Dad?"
To which I matter-of-factly replied, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see." replied my boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that
in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,
"Why are there 3 in this package." I replied,
"Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday,
and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says my boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks
"Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men." I answered, "TWO for Friday,
TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed my boy obviously impressed; "Then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12 pack expecting a fantastic responce.
With a sigh, I replied, "Those are for us married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March........"

LMAO........Great One!!!

You nut!

Once upon a time,
> > > > >> > > >> in a land far away,
> > > > >> > > >> a beautiful, independent,
> > > > >> > > >> self assured princess
> > > > >> > > >> happened upon a frog as she sat,
> > > > >> > > >> contemplating ecological issues
> > > > >> > > >> on the shores of an unpolluted pond
> > > > >> > > >> in a verdant meadow near her castle.
> > > > >> > > >>
> > > > >> > > >> The frog hopped into the princess lap
> > > > >> > > >> and said: Elegant Lady,
> > > > >> > > >> I was once a handsome prince,
> > > > >> > > >> until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
> > > > >> > > >>
> > > > >> > > >> One kiss from you, however,
> > > > >> > > >> and I will turn back
> > > > >> > > >> into the dapper, young prince that I am
> > > > >> > > >> and then, my sweet, we can marry
> > > > >> > > >> and setup housekeeping in yon castle
> > > > >> > > >> with my mother,
> > > > >> > > >> where you can prepare my meals,
> > > > >> > > >> clean my clothes, bear my children,
> > > > >> > > >> and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
> > > > >> > > >>
> > > > >> > > >> That night,
> > > > >> > > >> as the princess dined sumptuously
> > > > >> > > >> on a repast of lightly sautÈed frog legs
> > > > >> > > >> seasoned in a white wine
> > > > >> > > >> and onion cream sauce,
> > > > >> > > >> she chuckled to herself and thought:
> > > > >> > > >>
> > > > >> > > >> don,t [#%!] think so.

ha! love it!!

Touche!!!

What's up with MP3.Com continually interuppting and cutting in on this message board. I can't even get on!!!!! HELP! Who authorized that? Marty? What's going on?

Two friends used to go out every week-end and swim to a small island in a local lake.
One such sunny day, one of the gals pulls out a cigarette and a lighter and has herself a smoke. The other gal, also a smoker, is amazed.
"How did you get that stuff out here without getting it all soaked?"
"Oh, I found these neat things at the drugstore, I just stick my cigarettes in and tie the end and everything stays nice and dry."
"Wow, I'll have to get some of those. What do you call them?"
"Condoms."
So a week goes by and it's time for a day at the lake again. Our young smoker heads to the drugstore for her important supplies. She goes to the counter and asks the man there for some condoms. The gentleman asks her what size condoms she needs and without batting an eye she tells him
"Oh, just big enough for a Camel."