Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#134203 - 02/13/01 09:06 PM Cast Away Jane
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Jane left sunny PA. to see if NY could cheer her up from her winter blues. In New York she became so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the
ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to
leap into the frigid water when a handsome young
sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier,

He took pity on our Jane plus he saw her AC pictures on the web and thought she looked pretty hot and said, "Look, you've got a lot
to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if
you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving
closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and
added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me

Jane thought for a while and then nodded yes. After all, what did she have to
lose? Zeke was already married and had Susie for a girlfriend so what was there to stay in the USA for? Maybe a fresh start in Europe would give her
life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her
aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every
night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of
fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she
was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing
here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with
one of the sailors," Jane explained. "I get food and a
trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He sure is, lady," the captain said. "This is the
Staten Island Ferry
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#134204 - 02/13/01 09:34 PM Re: Cast Away Jane
ahem, what does this say of your opinion of my intellegence? i have a sexy brain too. haven't you noticed my spelling and grammar are always impeccable? besides, i don't put out for just sandwiches...

#134205 - 02/14/01 12:21 AM Re: Cast Away Jane
Debbie Offline
Zeke has really let loose this time!!! We'll have to think of something REALLY special for him for when I go..... Still have my fingers crossed that you'll be there too. Put your thinking cap on. You ARE a bright gal, I'll have no doubt you'll come up with something......

#134206 - 02/14/01 12:42 AM Re: Cast Away Jane
Debbie Offline
In honor of your 50th!!!

Zeke's Trip to the doctor

Zeke goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me TO much. May farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. It's just a little tiresome and can be inconvenient. I'll bet you didn't even know I was farting becuase they don't smell and are so silent. Can you help me? I'm going on vacation soon, and would like to be able to snorkel without embarrassement."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week".

The next week Zeke returns to the doctor. "Doctor!" he says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts....although still silent....stink TERRIBLY! What did you do to me?"

The doctor says, "Good!!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing problem."

Debbie ( can't wait to meet you!)

#134207 - 02/14/01 04:00 AM Re: Cast Away Jane
Ha! i'm ROF! zeke, where r u?

#134208 - 02/14/01 04:53 PM Re: Cast Away Jane
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Jane, Shaker, & Debbie walk into Zeke's bar and Zeke
tells them in the bathroom theres a magical mirror
that will give you something good, if you tell it the truth. If you
lie you get sucked in and you are history. The girls liked the idea so they all walked
into the bathroom. Jane says "I think I'm the best looking
person in this bar" and out popped out her prize. Of couse she might not have been the best looker there, but as long as she was telling the truth she was fine. Next Shaker goes to this magical mirror and says "I think I'm the smartest girl in this bar." It
was the truth, because we are in Zeke's bar so that ain't meaning a hell of alot being the smartest cookie in this jar, so a prize popped out of the mirror.
Next Debbie says "I think...."
She was sucked into the mirror and never seen again
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#134209 - 02/14/01 06:07 PM Re: Cast Away Jane
Debbie Offline

[This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 02-14-2001).]

#134210 - 02/15/01 12:55 AM Re: Cast Away Jane

zeke, how could you do that to our sweet debbie?

besides, i happen to know she once dumped a pot of hot beans in the lap of someone who crossed her.

still want to meet her in june??!! ha!

#134211 - 02/15/01 04:49 PM Re: Cast Away Jane
Debbie Offline
ROFLMAO!!!! I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. I can't even type....... Jane!!!! Shame on you. You'll scare him......
Zeke, I promise I won't dump beans on you. *still laughing* I'm getting choked up here....
Yes, folks, Jane knows me VERY well.... Well, I've had my laugh for the day. Poor Zeke. I have to put in a disclaimer here. I'm NOT a nut case. Hope you still come for my birthday

#134212 - 02/15/01 05:12 PM Re: Cast Away Jane
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Jane.....the only thing that I am worried about with Debbie meeting me is that she will probably want to leave her husband for me. I shamefully admit that I do have that effect on woman. It is not easy being this sex symbol! I find it very difficult that woman ONLY want me for my body. I wish you girls would realize that I have a mind too.
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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