Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#134847 - 03/20/01 11:37 PM PMS Founder
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Now that's Mrs.Zeke! I wonder if I have anything to do with her crankiness. Nahh....I'm the goods!
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#134848 - 03/21/01 12:20 AM Re: PMS Founder
margarita Offline
CAPTAIN BIG ZEKE - Why do they call it P.M.S.?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!!

#134849 - 03/21/01 04:06 PM Re: PMS Founder
have you guys seen the new tv adds for a medication to correct PMDD? yes, PMDD. everytime they show the woman screaming, or crying or pouting, frank pokes me! i'm like, what woman doesnt get like that? he would like us to all be stepford wives. remember them?

zeke, how's the coaching going? i can just picture you in your little shorts and a whistle around your neck!!

#134850 - 03/21/01 04:47 PM Re: PMS Founder
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Jane...My son's team has not lost a game in two years and my daughter's team sucks...guess which team I am the coach of....Good guess u r right!

For Chloe's kids:

The top ten slogans being considered by Viagra for its new advertising campaign.Now that I am turning 50 I don't find these as humorous as I did in my younger days.

10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!

3. Viagra, Tastes great!........., More filling!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!

And the number one slogan, being considered by Viagra:

1. This is your penis......... This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#134851 - 03/21/01 08:07 PM Re: PMS Founder
Chloe Offline
Great Zeke, I appreciate your efforts as our COACH. ROFLMAO
Dare To Deviate

#134852 - 03/22/01 08:11 AM Re: PMS Founder
seashell Offline
I always thought PMS stood for "Putting up with Men's Sh**! :^) Sorry, just couldn't resist, Big Zeke.
A fish and a bird can fall in love, but where will they build their nest?

#134853 - 03/22/01 04:40 PM Re: PMS Founder
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
OK Seashell you asked for this:


1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.

3. You've been flashing your boobs at passers by.

4. You mistake a police car for a cab and shout obscenities when it doesn't stop for you.

5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.

6. You start crying.

7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.

9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take all your clothes off, stand on a table and sing "Hopelessly Devoted To You" becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. You've forgotten where you live.

12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the 60 cigarettes you've smoked.

13. You can't taste the gin in your gin and tonic.

14. You think you're in bed but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.

15. You start every conversation with, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's not down when you sit on it.

17. You challenge the bouncer to an arm wrestling competition.

18. You're sitting on the floor. On your own.

19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.

20. You decide to audition for "Star Search" via the security cameras.
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#134854 - 03/22/01 11:00 PM Re: PMS Founder
gee zeke, to me, this sound like your dream date!!!!!

#134855 - 03/23/01 06:16 AM Re: PMS Founder
seashell Offline
Uh oh! I recognized a couple of girlfriend's in that list. Only saw myself once. :^)

New York, New York, you've got to wake up in the city that doesn't sleep .... ta da!
A fish and a bird can fall in love, but where will they build their nest?

#134856 - 03/23/01 06:32 AM Re: PMS Founder
diann Offline
Hey... we've got more class on here than I coulda hoped for!!! A Sinatra fan huh??!! When I said paradise was being on a white sandy beach, blue water, I forgot to add w/ Sinat singing in my ears

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