1. "You get this one, next round is on me."
(I won't be here long enough to get another round.)

2. "I'll get this one, next one is on you."
(Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but
by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)

3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get
your attractive friend into a compromising position.)

4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) (I'm easy.)

5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) (I'm gay.)

6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do
to you on the ride home?)

8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
(You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)

9. I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)
(I'm horny.)

10. "Who's got the next round?"
(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an
expert at diverting attention.)

11. "Excuse Me." (male to male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)

12. "Excuse Me." (male to female)
(I am going to grope you now.)

13. "Excuse Me." (female to male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of
the way.)

14. "Excuse Me." (female to female)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)

15. "What do you have on tap?"
(What's cheap?)

16. "Can I have a white Russian?" (male)
(I'm *really* gay.)

17. "Can I have a white Russian?" (female)
(I'm *really* easy.)

18. "That person looks really familiar."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)

19. Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
(I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

20. I don't have my ID on me." (female)
(I'm 18.)

21. "I don't have my ID on me." (male)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a
0.4 after my last visit here)

THAT WAS SO FUNNY!!!! I COPIED IT AND FORWARDED IT TO MY FRIENDS!!!!

HA HA HA!!!

WHERE DO YOU GET THESE FUNNYMAN?

he steals them from playboy.com!

oooOoOO Jane... how do you know about playboy.com? hmmmmm laugh

Denny,
Check Jane's past posts,She says she has opinions on everything..... Makes this board more fun with people like her...Reminds me of my X-wife...gotta get in the last word...

I can only think of one thing worse than having Jane for an x-wife and that would be having her as a present
wife. My condolences to her hubby. If I ever meet him maybe I will share Susie and AC
BB with him because I truly do feel for the man. Nahhh, I don't think they could ever cheat on the Zekester. God am I a nasty prick or what? This old
age has made me even more ornery if that is possible!

ouch, you guys. that hurts! me, an x-wife? last word?

it has been 18 years for us, either of you two lasted that long? and here's the kicker, we're pretty happy. and trust me, HE is the lucky one.

i may have the last word, but here it doesnt matter. his opinion is the only one that counts here, anyway (*wink*). oh, and i read playboy every month. you WISH you had me as your wives. suckers!

(just kidding, right?)

LOL
YOU GO GIRL!!! Right behind ya.......

Hi Jane...
If you read Playboy every month then you undoubtedly saw my wife Did I mention she's 15 yrs younger than me? lol

which issue, buddy? frank archives them!! i love the advisor....