Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#135211 - 04/10/01 04:52 PM Bar Room Chatter
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
1. "You get this one, next round is on me."
(I won't be here long enough to get another round.)

2. "I'll get this one, next one is on you."
(Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but
by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)

3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get
your attractive friend into a compromising position.)

4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) (I'm easy.)

5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) (I'm gay.)

6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do
to you on the ride home?)

8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
(You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)

9. I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)
(I'm horny.)

10. "Who's got the next round?"
(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an
expert at diverting attention.)

11. "Excuse Me." (male to male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)

12. "Excuse Me." (male to female)
(I am going to grope you now.)

13. "Excuse Me." (female to male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of
the way.)

14. "Excuse Me." (female to female)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)

15. "What do you have on tap?"
(What's cheap?)

16. "Can I have a white Russian?" (male)
(I'm *really* gay.)

17. "Can I have a white Russian?" (female)
(I'm *really* easy.)

18. "That person looks really familiar."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)

19. Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
(I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

20. I don't have my ID on me." (female)
(I'm 18.)

21. "I don't have my ID on me." (male)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a
0.4 after my last visit here)
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#135212 - 04/10/01 05:02 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
AC Beach Bum Offline



#135213 - 04/11/01 01:08 AM Re: Bar Room Chatter
he steals them from playboy.com!

#135214 - 04/11/01 12:30 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
Denny Shane Offline
oooOoOO Jane... how do you know about playboy.com? hmmmmm laugh

#135215 - 04/11/01 12:37 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
jlslks Offline
Check Jane's past posts,She says she has opinions on everything..... Makes this board more fun with people like her...Reminds me of my X-wife...gotta get in the last word...

#135216 - 04/11/01 04:23 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
I can only think of one thing worse than having Jane for an x-wife and that would be having her as a present
wife. My condolences to her hubby. If I ever meet him maybe I will share Susie and AC
BB with him because I truly do feel for the man. Nahhh, I don't think they could ever cheat on the Zekester. God am I a nasty prick or what? This old
age has made me even more ornery if that is possible!
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#135217 - 04/11/01 10:06 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
ouch, you guys. that hurts! me, an x-wife? last word?

it has been 18 years for us, either of you two lasted that long? and here's the kicker, we're pretty happy. and trust me, HE is the lucky one.

i may have the last word, but here it doesnt matter. his opinion is the only one that counts here, anyway (*wink*). oh, and i read playboy every month. you WISH you had me as your wives. suckers!

(just kidding, right?)

#135218 - 04/11/01 10:42 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
denverdan Offline
YOU GO GIRL!!! Right behind ya.......

#135219 - 04/11/01 11:46 PM Re: Bar Room Chatter
Denny Shane Offline
Hi Jane...
If you read Playboy every month then you undoubtedly saw my wife Did I mention she's 15 yrs younger than me? lol

#135220 - 04/12/01 01:22 AM Re: Bar Room Chatter
which issue, buddy? frank archives them!! i love the advisor....

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