Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#137554 - 07/24/01 04:50 PM For our adult woman readers
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
WARNING: If you are under the age of 21 please do not read my posts!

TEN SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET LAID

1. Watching a nature show where animals [#%!], he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing.

2. When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, "The skin bus to tuna town," and then laughs until he cries.

3. You note that integrity is so important in a man, he replies that what he looks for in a "chick" is "you know."

4. He whispers," you're beautiful," to your thighs, then glances up at your face and says, "oh you, too."

5. When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature relationships, he giggles quite a bit.

6. In conversation with others, he refers to you as his "quality tail."

7. Washing dishes after you've cooked him dinner for the first time, you reach behind you to take the paper towels off the paper-towel rod and then realize that you don't own a paper-towel rod.

8. When you're insulted by his "motel" suggestion at the end of your first date, he looks impressed and says, "hotel."

9. When you proudly recount your glorious high school valedictory speech to him, he praises "your multi-talented mouth."

10. When you tell him what you do for a living, he stares at your breasts and loudly asks, "What do they do?"
_________________________
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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#137555 - 07/24/01 04:53 PM Re: For our adult woman readers
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
You might agree with some of these:

Every woman wants a husband who is handsome, understanding, rich, and loving.
But the law allows only one husband.

One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.

The easiest way to make your old car run better,
is to check the prices of new car.

It's what people don't know about each other
that makes them such good friends.

If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law,
get one who knows the judge.

A man owes his success to his first wife
and he owes his second wife to his success.

Love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.

When a woman steals your Husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Marriage is like a cage; those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to get out.

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with;
only marry someone that you cannot live without.


I am NOT "going bald." I'm "getting more head."
_________________________
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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