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#138198 - 08/30/01 11:46 PM A Joke for all you Lawyers
ScubaLdy Offline
This was taken from an actual transcript:

Doctor: Before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
Take only pictures leave only bubbles

#138199 - 05/13/02 08:04 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
Gela Offline
Responding to this old post re: Lawyers. The following was told to me today. My apologies if I offend any of the attorneys who frequent this board.

What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer... The rooster clucks defiance.
Gela's AC Motto: "All Roads Used to Lead to BC's" frown

#138200 - 05/14/02 02:27 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
sweetjane Offline
you ladies know that laurie (lmarquis) is an attorney

...with a sense of humor.

#138201 - 05/14/02 02:57 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
LaurieMar Offline
LOL. Oh thank you, Jane - ya got that right! I have heard them all and then some. My dad is the biggest offender! Everybody hates lawyers, but sooner or later, everybody needs one!

#138202 - 05/14/02 03:40 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
BankerWoman Offline
Laurie and susangg: Not only have we HEARD them all, we're probably the worst about passing them on, right?

#138203 - 05/28/02 11:38 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
Turnbun Offline
Us lawyers know all the best lawyer jokes!

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Ba dum dum....

#138204 - 05/29/02 01:05 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
sweetjane Offline
um, that's "WE lawyers".

#138205 - 05/29/02 02:31 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
ljacks Offline
An Elephant has a lion following it and eating all it's droppings.
The elephant asks why (to the lion) are you eating all my droppings.
Lion answers 'I ate a lawyer and am trying to get the taste out of my mouth'.

#138206 - 05/29/02 05:20 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
klcman Offline
Jane -

That's why they're lawyers and not English teachers.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _________________ _ _ _ _ _ _
But then what do I know, I am but a mere caveman

#138207 - 05/29/02 05:32 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers
LaurieMar Offline
True, KCLman, but my undergraduate degree is in English. What do ya say to that? Also, I can't do math worth a shit! I can argue under the table, if need be. . .

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