26 signs that you're an adult now...
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You now keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
10. You're the one calling the police because the kids next door don't
know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
18. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
20. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
22. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
23. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
24. Most of the names in your " little black book" are physicians.
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to
26.You go on vacation to Belize to drink Beliken & check out birds,flowers,butterflies,monkeys,jaguars, & Mayan ruins instead of going to StMaarten and checking out the topless/bottomless babes sunbathing in the buff!
MAN IT SUCKS BEING OLD!
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.