Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#141065 - 01/07/02 05:57 PM Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
It was the first day of school in St.Augustine, FL. for a new student
Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, was entering the fourth grade
new to America).

At the start of class, the teacher said, Let us begin by reviewing
American History. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
teacher saw a sea of blank faces except for Suzuki, who had his hand
"Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. "Very Good" replied the teacher.

Who said "Government, of the people, by the people, and for the people,
not perish from the earth"? Again no response exept from Suzuki.
Lincoln, 1863," said Suzuki. The teacher snapped at the class,
"Class, you
should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more
about its
history than you do." She heard a loud whisper from the middle of the
"Screw the Japanese".

"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up and said, "Lee
Iacocca, 1982." At that point a student in the back said "I'm gonna

The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again,
Suzuki says , "George Bush, to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now the
sea of students are getting furious, and another students yells, "Oh
Suck This!"

Suzuki immediately jumps out of his chair waving his hand, and shouts
to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now, with close
to a
mob hysteria developing, someone shouts, "You little shit. If you
anything else, I'll kill you."

Suzuki Frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to
Levy, 2001." The teacher now faints; and as the class gathers around
teacher residing on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit, we're screwed."

Suzuki immediately says, "The Taliban- 2001!"
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#141066 - 01/07/02 07:05 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
Rhon Offline
Very funny! Just forwarded it on to friends.
Thanks for the laugh...Rhonda

#141067 - 01/08/02 02:08 AM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
Rocio Offline
One of the better ones.......


#141068 - 01/08/02 05:06 AM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
MandM Offline
LOL...good joke Zeke. And yes, we do still owe you dinner. Would like nothing better than to make that deal happen. No real plans yet. Just started looking at the end of April or first of May for SP. Not sure yet but will keep you posted. I'll email you soon.

#141069 - 01/08/02 05:16 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Granny was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and
kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon
early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her parlor. He
took a
while she prepared some tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ,
minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled

In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock
And, curiosity! Surely Miss Granny had flipped! But he felt he
couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor. When she
with tea
and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his
about the bowl of water and the floating item, but soon it got
better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Granny" he
pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"
"Oh, Yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking
fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put
it on

the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent diseases. And you

I haven't had a cold all winter."
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#141070 - 01/08/02 11:22 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
thank you zeke, i needed that this afternoon.
ho ho he he ha ha lol

#141071 - 01/13/02 06:41 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
Vicki Offline
You won't believe what Butch and I bought!! Major!! You and Mrs need to get down here to celebrate with us!
Luv ya lots
PS: where is your bud going to be coaching? no time for t.v...

#141072 - 01/14/02 04:57 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
Vicki....Congrats are in order for you and Butch. My man is heading to Washington to coach the Skins. If I keep picking losers with my gambling, I just might hop on the next plane outta here to hide from my bookies! Got any job openings for a broke old man down there?
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#141073 - 01/14/02 07:04 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
Vicki Offline
need a part time bartender!! come on down!! tricia is coming to work for us, as manager
she is coming home with me next week for a couple of weeks.
love ya'll

#141074 - 01/14/02 09:35 PM Re: Lil' Zeke got a new classmate
KC Offline
Vicki --
Spill it! What did ya buy? Another business on AC???? Inquiring minds want to know. Besides, I can't congratulate you unless I know what it's for! You guys watch out, you're going to own the island soon!

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

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