Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
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#144629 - 07/27/02 07:31 PM Joke Thread
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
As all you guys/gals know by now I would normally have posted on the joke page, but there have been much more important matters that have kept me occupied of late. I have made many pen pals that are now quite close to the Zekester and I think my marriage is in jeopardy due to it. Here check it out!

Me and Kristi are now quite an item, but I have to wait 12 years and I ain't quite sure if I will still be able to perform my magic at that time. God why could I have not found this site in my youth?
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#144630 - 07/27/02 11:06 PM Re: Joke Thread
MandM Offline
Hey Zeke !!!

Knowing your wife, I think that 12 years sounds about right --- you just might make it out of the doghouse by then. 'Course I wouldn't expect that you'd be worried --- seeing as you have so many girlfriends ... surely you'll get by ok.

Check your e-mail


#144631 - 07/28/02 12:38 AM Re: Joke Thread
JmHanna Offline
My thread ain't good enough?

#144632 - 07/28/02 02:14 PM Re: Joke Thread
Mosquitorose Offline
Hey Zeke....good to see ya.

Love is a many splendid thing and food runs a close second.

#144633 - 07/28/02 02:50 PM Re: Joke Thread
susangg Offline
Just heard this on NPR:

Moses was talking to God about His plan for the Hebrew people. He said: "What is this? THEY get to have all the oil deposits and WE get to cut off the tip of our WHAT????"
Susan Guberman-Garcia, Attorney at Law. Phone: 510-792-2639
Fax/Voicemail:: 510-405-2016 Email: susangg@garcia.mpowermail.com

#144634 - 07/28/02 04:44 PM Re: Joke Thread
rickcheri Offline
It's OK Mr. Pier Lounge...i like you joke thread better!!!!! Let's keep it going!!! They are FUNNY!!!! Don't have time to write to anyone in prison!!! I might get in touch with an old boyfriend.....would be just my luck!!!! LOL....C

#144635 - 07/29/02 11:04 AM Re: Joke Thread
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any
occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother
heard that
a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she
asked if he
would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them

So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the
clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice,
sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth
dropped open,
but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open,

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is
Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice
even more
and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy
and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet,
slamming the door
behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this
God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#144636 - 07/30/02 09:41 PM Re: Joke Thread
Mosquitorose Offline

Tom Clancy - - "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."

Steve Martin - - "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me

Drew Carey - - "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as
meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."

George Burns - - "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting

George Burns - - "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

Hugh Hefner - - "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
380SL convertible
Love is a many splendid thing and food runs a close second.

#144637 - 07/31/02 10:02 PM Re: Joke Thread
toad Offline
is that soup on your fly?


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