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#145350 - 09/12/02 07:26 PM Politically correct
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE

FACILITY

He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE

DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL

RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL

INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY SHY
_________________________
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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#145351 - 09/12/02 07:51 PM Re: Politically correct
B_b_f_b Offline
Yo Zeke, you definitely have swine empathy. Love your jokes man. Keep em comin'.

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#145352 - 09/12/02 10:17 PM Re: Politically correct
meg Offline
Why men get confused.....

What God said to Adam One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", said God.

Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first".

Smiling, God explained, 'I've got two new organs for you. One is called a
brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have
intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me.
What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when
I created you I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at
a time".

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#145353 - 09/13/02 01:06 AM Re: Politically correct
SeaJay Offline
Woman's Ultimate Fantasy :
In a recent Harris On-line poll 38,562 men across the US were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy.


97.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.


While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

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#145354 - 09/13/02 02:46 AM Re: Politically correct
Mosquitorose Offline
Hahahahh Seajay...not quite though....it's tree a dem we need....hahahahah...in belize they call it ....cook, wash and mash...lol

MR

[This message has been edited by Mosquitorose (edited 09-12-2002).]
_________________________
Love is a many splendid thing and food runs a close second.

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#145355 - 09/13/02 07:35 AM Re: Politically correct
SeaJay Offline
Hehehe MR - while we're at it, we might as well fantasize for a 4th (one to serve us pina coladas)

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#145356 - 09/13/02 02:33 PM Re: Politically correct
Johnboy Offline
Seajay----Just wondering,Was Bill included in this survey????????? Havn't heard from you all in a while!!!!! How's everything going.......BTW, Mexico was GREAT!!!
John
_________________________
John

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#145357 - 09/13/02 04:25 PM Re: Politically correct
SeaJay Offline
Johnboy - Bill might be ready for another man around here. I think he's tired of doing ALL the cooking and cleaning...hehehe. I want to hear all about the trip to Mexico - I've been waiting to hear if you did the swim with the dolphin thing. TRIP REPORT!!

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#145358 - 09/13/02 04:28 PM Re: Politically correct
GAY AND DAVID Offline
after a recent survey in our household, david won't let me have any extra men even if they are for serving pina coladas only.
gay

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#145359 - 09/13/02 07:08 PM Re: Politically correct
Johnboy Offline
I LIKE DAVID'S ATTITUDE!!!!! Every good Texas woman deserves only one GOOD Texas man!!!!!!! John
_________________________
John

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