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#156422 - 10/22/03 11:48 AM Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
While attending a Marriage Encounter seminar on communication, Zeke and his wife
Mrs. Zeke listened to the instructor declare,

"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are
important to each other."

He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Zeke leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

The rest of the story is not pleasant
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

#156423 - 10/22/03 12:19 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big friggin' red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond !!!!

#156424 - 10/22/03 02:49 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower

#156425 - 10/22/03 02:51 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
These are exactly the kind of women who give us guys a bad name. And, "No" I do not want anymore sensitivity classes. Jeeeeez. I mean we know how to treat y'all.

Shucks, I got ol' SWMBO a $195 trash can for Christmas last year. True Story! Now that's some kind of consideration, I'd say.


#156426 - 10/22/03 11:27 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
Badco Offline
Now this is good!!!

> Subject: Dear Diary
>>>>> I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men
>>>>> &women differ so much. And I never have figured out the
>>>>> whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why
>>>>> men think with their head and women think with their heart.
>>>>> And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene
>>>>> gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the
>>>>> words "I do."
>>>>> One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
>>>>> Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
>>>>> says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I
>>>>> said "WHAT??????"
>>>>> So she says the words that I and every husband on the
>>>>> planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with
>>>>> her emotional needs as a Woman.
>>>>> I'm thinking "What was her first clue?". I finally realize
>>>>> that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to
>>>>> sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big,
>>>>> unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
>>>>> she tried on three different very expensive outfits.
>>>>> She could not decide which one to take so I told her to
>>>>> take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants
>>>>> matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And
>>>>> then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of
>>>>> diamond earrings.
>>>>> Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have
>>>>> thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I
>>>>> don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she
>>>>> asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play
>>>>> tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that
>>>>> it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this
>>>>> and you should have seen her face when she said "I'm ready
>>>>> to go to the cash register."
>>>>> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey
>>>>> I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should
>>>>> have seen her face ....... it went completely blank. I then
>>>>> said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
>>>>> a while." And just when she had this look like she was
>>>>> going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my
>>>>> financial needs as a Man."
>>>>> I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime
>>>>> after the spring of 2008 . But what the hell, it was worth it!

"Life isn't like a box of chocolates....it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."

#156427 - 10/23/03 02:25 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
Mosquitorose Offline
ahhhhh yes, it's not the hello....it's the goodbye hahahaahh
Love is a many splendid thing and food runs a close second.

#156428 - 10/23/03 02:33 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
Mosquitorose Offline
Men and Women spend far too much time and energy trying to figure each other out and playing stupid games....and while time waits for no man or woman the grains of sand run out too soon....haven't you heard older people talking? all they talk about is what they wished they would have done back then and regrets, regrets, regrets.....
Love is a many splendid thing and food runs a close second.

#156429 - 10/23/03 02:43 PM Re: Mrs. Zeke's favorite flower
Does that mean I should have gotten a better container, say a dumpster? Yah, I think we all agree that regrets are essence of most any relationship, one way or another. This is getting too maudlin, let's go to something fun.


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