Here is my own personal trip report for the 2nd Annual San Pedro party in Conroe. I started out early in the morning and headed up Interstate 45 North just as Ernie’s directions were outlined. I was excited as I got off the Rayford/Sawdust exit and made my U-turn, just as Ernie’s directions outlined. I did find the now infamous Mobile gas station and turned right, just as Ernie’s directions outlined.
I found Papa’s on the right as Ernie’s direction mentioned. I thought it odd that the Best Western where we were all staying at, wasn’t across the street from Papa’s, as Ernie said it was. So I drove up and down that road for 15 minutes looking for my room. I went into Papa’s finally… which just happened to be having what looked like a local chapter meeting of the Hell’s Angels. I would estimate there were at least 200 motorcycles in the parking lot. I thought to myself… “wow, the ambergris.caye people are really into bikes, plus they’re really rough looking”
I walked around, holding onto my wallet for dear life, looking for Ernie, Gay, anyone that I might know. Of course the fact that I never met any of them and I didn’t know what they looked like didn’t matter. I was simply looking for anyone that looked somewhat normal. While sauntering around and enjoying the ambience of leather permeating the fresh air, I bumped into a guy who had his back to me. This guy was huge. You’ve seen the type… big, muscular, long straggly hair. Anyway I walked into him, and immediately thought if I had to, I could use my walker cane as a sword to protect myself. The guy turned around, looking a little annoyed. Then I saw that it wasn't a guy and realized it must have been Mr. Killer’s wife. I said, “excuse me, do you know where the men’s room is?”
Anyway, I made my way to the bar, looked at my watch… geez, it was only 9AM… I ordered a Bloody Mary. The guy next to me at the bar, with this huge skull tattooed on his arm with a dagger in it was downing shots of something. I immediately removed the little umbrella from my drink and threw it on the floor. I decided I had enough of this fun and got the phone number from my pocket. The same phone number than Ernie had posted elsewhere on the board. I dialed, hoping Ernie would answer and tell me where the hell I was. Co-incidentally, after I dialed, the phone at the bar rang as well. The bar matron answered it “Hello, Papa’s” I was doomed. I told her who I was… she looked down the bar and laughed. I told her I was here looking for the San Pedro people but had a feeling they weren’t here. She laughed and said they were all here last night for the concert. Next question: Do you know where the Best Western is? She didn’t know, she asked the cook… he didn’t know. My thoughts went to the guy next to me with the skull and dagger… I wondered if I could hire him to visit Ernie at midnight.
Then I noticed this biker dude at the end of the bar… he was smiling at me. I think he winked also, or maybe it was an old war wound affliction. He said: “hey, I think you want the OTHER Papa’s up in Conroe. I smiled and said “aren’t I IN Conroe already?
Then he told me about the other Papa’s on the Lake in Conroe. He told me to continue on 45 north and get off at 105 and go left. So back onto 45 I went… I kept driving and driving until I saw a Best Western. I decided to pull in and ask if I was heading in the right direction. I hobbled into the lobby and was greeted by a very smiling young girl. I asked if she knew where the Best Western Motel was… the one across the street from Papa’s…. She was obviously one of the girls in school who had no brains, but a great body.. she not only didn’t know where it was, she acted as though she never heard of Best Western. I looked at her and asked “I AM in a Best Western aren’t I?” So we had to go on the internet and find the correct Best Western. I got back into my car and scratched Ernie’s name into my dashboard. I wanted to remember his name.
I finally found the Best Western. I was elated… I was hopping up and down in my car. I pulled in, and went into the office. There in front of me was this cute looking woman,. I waited my turn and thought… Hmmmm… I wonder if she’s in our group. I gave the clerk my name and told him I was with the San Pedro group. He kept looking and looking and looking. Finally he said “I’m sorry Mr. Shane, we can’t find your reservation” I was really sorry I didn’t get the biker’s name and phone number from the bar now. Then the clerk told me they fired the previous manager because she screwed everything up. The clerk asked if I wanted a smoking room and I said yes. (If you already guessed I got a non-smoking room, you're correct)
After finally checking in I went back outside and saw a fella standing there with a Belize shirt on… it was David from Gay and David fame. We introduced ourselves… and then out came the girl I saw inside. David introduced me to Gay. Sure, why not… my day has really been great so far.
Well, that’s it for Chapter I of my trip report to the big party in Conroe… and to think, it was only 10:30 AM….. Stay tuned for Chapter II