Fruitcake Recipe
> > > >
> > > > 1 cup water
> > > > 1 cup sugar
> > > > 4 large eggs
> > > > 2 cups dried fruit
> > > > 1 teaspoon baking soda
> > > > 1 teaspoon salt
> > > > 1 cup brown sugar
> > > > lemon juice
> > > > nuts
> > > > 1 gallon whiskey
> > > >
> > > > Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
> > > > Take a large bowl.
> > > > Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
> > > > Pour one level cup and drink.
> > > > Repeat.
> > > > Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy
> > > > bowl.
> > > > Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
> > > > Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.
> > > > Turn off mixer.
> > > > Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
> > > > cup of dried fruit.
> > > > Mix on the turner.
> > > > If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry
> > > > it loose with a drewscriver.
> > > > Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
> > > > Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
> > > > Check the whiskey.
> > > > Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
> > > > Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
> > > > Whatever you can find.
> > > > Grease the oven.
> > > > Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
> > > > Don't forget to beat off the turner.
> > > > Throw the bowl out of the window.
> > > > Check the whiskey again.
> > > > Go to bed.
> > > > Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
>
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Best recipe I've ever seen for fruitcake!

makes you WANT to do your christmas baking!

I used to use my Grandmother's holiday fruit cake for a door stop. Now if you substituted the whiskey for say island rum - I'm there!

hey... I actually like fruitcake, (if wet & soggy with rum)

Start saving them up from year to year and build a small addition to your house out of them....like I did with all of my regular homemade bread that came out like a brick!

love the recipe......truth......I love fruit cake.

I love Fruitcake Jokes - they last years longer than Viagra and Monica Lewinsky Jokes. Here's a little list of Things To Do With A Fruitcake

Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your lawn.

Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)

Keep one under your pillow for home defense.

Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list.

It's colorful, use it as a Yule Log.

Carve the Presidents' faces in one and submit it as a science project.

Give one to your boss and tell him it's a life preserver.

Use it as a base for flower arrangements.

Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel blocks.

Grind a few up and give it back to your in-laws in a bag marked "lawn fertilizer."

For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build an artificial reef.

Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to keep your feet dry.


Also, why do fruitcakes make ideal gifts? Because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.

Don't be dissin the fruitcakes now. One of the things I love about the holidays. Try a jamaican or belizean black cake. Good stuff with all the wine and rum soaked fruit. Desert with a punch !

This made me think of the cake you get in Cozumel.. some kind of rum cake? I think it is called Tortuga....? Anybody know what I'm talking about? They are yummie!