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#188912 - 01/26/06 06:44 PM She was Sooooooo Blonde
LaurieMar Offline
Okay, not to offend any blondes - my best buddy is one, but some of these are funny:

She was Sooooo Blonde:

She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She thought General Motors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
She thought Boys II Men was a day care center.
At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius".

She was Sooooooo Blonde. . .

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate".
She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooo Blonde. . .

She studied for a blood test.
When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
She thought she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

#188913 - 01/26/06 06:49 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
deacon+ Offline
TOOO FUNNY, thanks

#188914 - 01/26/06 06:51 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
klcman Offline
Ernie pulled into the crowded parking lot at the
Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and slightly rolled down the car windows to make sure his
Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat
and Ernie wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. He walked to the curb backward, pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?"
"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave him a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in park?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _________________ _ _ _ _ _ _
But then what do I know, I am but a mere caveman

#188915 - 01/26/06 06:52 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
I hope you didn't send this to Michelle Williams.. eek

#188916 - 01/26/06 06:57 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
clover Offline
A young blonde woman in Joliet, Illinois, was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the I&M canal. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.
I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.

I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
>>From then on, every night he! brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said.
"This is the Empress Casino, and we never leave Joliet."

#188917 - 01/26/06 07:02 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
clover Offline
The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his blonde secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the Univ. of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

#188918 - 01/26/06 07:02 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
Belikin Bill Offline
How can you tell a blonde has two brain cells?

Shes pregnant!!

#188919 - 01/26/06 07:36 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Florida. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

#188920 - 01/26/06 10:33 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
ScubaLdy Offline
Q: Do you know why blonde jokes are so short?
A: So men can understand them.
Take only pictures leave only bubbles

#188921 - 01/26/06 10:39 PM Re: She was Sooooooo Blonde
travelqueen Offline
klcman, I thought I had heard them ALL! That was sooooooo funny!

Law, that one cracks me up everytime!

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