Scubaldy, thanks. Being blonde, I resemble those remarks!!

What's In A Name?
A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive Blonde standing alone.
He approached her and asked her name.

"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Did your mother give it to you?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most in my life - cars and men."

hey continued to talk and finally she asked, "What's your name"?

"BeerSex,"... he replied

Not a blond joke but cute..

You will find this funny if you are 30 or older.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... uphill both
ways through year 'round blizzards ... carrying their younger siblings
on their backs... to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a
Straight-A average despite their full-time, after-school job at the
local textile mill.... where they worked for
35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids ... about how
hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But... Now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but
look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I
mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say
it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean,
when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet ...we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves (AIN'T THAT RIGHT LAWCUCUI!!)! There
was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter....with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3s
or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record
store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to
tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and
f@#* it all up! You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just
download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of
"Hustler" at the 7- 11! Those were your options. We didn't have fancy
shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else
called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes
either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be
your boss, your mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!! You just
had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any
fancy Sony Play station videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We
had the Atari 2600!
With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics
sucked! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen
forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and
faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie
theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you
and you couldn't see you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable
television (Some people did! We had only the 3 channels that came in
from the antenna on top of the house. I thought we were really lucky
when Fox came along and we had 4 channels!), but back then that was only
like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the
channel and there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning...
D'ya hear what I'm Saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little
brats !
We didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up... we had
to use the stove ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn... we had to use
that stupid jiffy pop and shake it over the stove like an idiot forever.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled, you guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1980.

TQ - that cracked me up!

A blond co-ed was told by her best friend that a milk bath is very beneficial to the skin. So she calls her milkman and says, “Could you deliver enough milk to my house so that I could take a milk bath?” The milk man takes out his calculator and estimates the amount of milk it would take to fill the bath tub and tells the blond, “You will need 22 gallons of milk.” The blond says, “Perfect, can you deliver tomorrow?” He says “sure, do you want it pasteurized?” She says “no, just up to my [#%!]…I can splash it in my eyes.”

I noticed subalady crossed the line on man jokes.

Have you heard about the new morning after pill for men? It changes blood type.


Or how about the blonde that got on the elevator with this guy that was a hunk. As the door closes she rips off her blouse and says to him with her breasts exposed "make me feel like a woman"

The guy looks at her for a second then rips off his shirt and tosses by her feet and says "iron that"

A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her: Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes? I will explain why later.:

The nun agreed to his request. Shortly thereafter, the two MPs came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied: "he went that way."

After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq." The nun understood.

The GI said: "I hope you don't think me rude, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen!" The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go go Iraq either."

Ooooooh casa, that one's gotta go. Do you know how to use your delete key?

someone does