I wrote this for a friends Fiftith birthday.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE TURNED FIFTY?
When your belt size keeps getting larger
When you moan every time you bend over
When you speak of the Kinks, you're no longer speaking of a rock group
When your back goes out more than you do
When you have more laugh lines than it's possibly funny
When you notice more hair in the sink than on your head
When you consistently forget to turn off your left-hand directional signal
When your arms aren't long enough to read the menu
When it's easier to tell the Doctor what's not hurting, than what is hurting
When the only exercise you get is walking to the golf cart
When talking of getting lucky, you're referring to your golf game
When you refer to Thirty year olds as kids
When you flirt with chicks at a bar & they tell you, you remind them of their father
When you attend your high school reunion and everyone there looks like your parents
When your children are studying in history what you've lived through
When everyone you know, you call Buddy, because you can't remember their name
When every day you take nearly the entire alphabet of vitamins
When you start receiving mail from AARP
When the host at the restaurant asks to see your senior citizen discount card
When Social Security notifies you of what you have to retire
on is less than what you made when first started to work
When you look in the mirror and you've still got it Kid!