I heard that in Australia The Crocodile man Steve Irwin had a line of Sunscreens,



but when he died they pulled them off the shelves because apparently they offered no protection against harmful rays.......

are you kidding? you should be assamed!

HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ha! haha.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

Ha! I like the one about the pig! Cute!

you should write childrens books. Whoopy!!

are you drunk?

Tillie,Tillie, Tillie gonna have to put you on my ignore list.
Smile & the world smiles with you, cry & you cry alone.

This is still a family board - try to restrain yourself on "boderline" humour.

Hahaha!!!!! I needed some good rib ticklers this afternoon Captain! Cute doggie in your pick. Is that zeke?

family board? who is the youngest poster.

me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda, I have heard this before about children on the board. Do you really think children are interesed in what gets said on this board? Do you think children really read this board? I thought you had to be at least 18 years old. Just currious, not trying to start anything.

My grandson who lives in San Pedro reads this board.

Of course children read this board. There are places on the internet that are sites for folks 18 and older - there is tons of smut available and many other subjects that I choose to avoid. I had never classed this board as a place to tread carefully.

As we have mentioned before, if Marty puts up a section of the board that contains a warning that some of the content may be inflamatory, offensive etc and that you must make a conscious decision to enter and to possibly be insulted - then that is fine. But as it is do you really think that some of the references to hookers and drug dealers is appropriate in the chat area of this community board????

Wasn't that Michelle Willams - 16 years and counting?

If one is a grown up and has a sense of humor it should only serve to make one laugh. Rather....LMAO.

I think the youngest has got to be the one who was handing out all those he!!o kitty stickers some months back.

Zeke,
How was your BZ trip? Hope it was great.
Sorry I missed you when passing thru SA, it was late.
Maybe soon.
Love ya!
Craigswench

Your Crock Hunter joke may be a little bit funnier in a few months. I think most people are still saddened by the loss. Me included.

Amanda, If children read this board, then only appropriate lauguage should be used. However I donot understand why a child would be interesed.

Zeke - still laughing at your "crack" crack!

If you ask me (and noone did) there are many "children" reading this board! Some really damn old ones! ....whoops, sorry law, that wasn't funny!

Topic: Pretty sure this will be deleted

I agree!!!! So whats up with the bad attempt at humor, no 9/11 jokes in your repetoire?

AMANDA is right. kids read this board, and when you post stuff like that it makes folks NOT WANT to send their kids here.

PLEASE. keep it clean

...."there's a big yellow sponge with brown pants and a tie standing on the tracks and by-golly standing right next to it is......"

Hillary

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK! (the creature from Rock Bottom!)

Craigswench....had a great time! diving with Tulu everyday and drinking at BC's every night. Went to Roja's one night and it was fabulous!

For the kids:

THE NUDE BEACH

A mother and father take their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.



She tells her son, "The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is."

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.



She replies, "The bigger it is, the dumber the man is." Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.



Shortly thereafter, the boy returns again, and promptly tells his mother: "Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

Ha Ha!!!!!

Kids. What's that? My kids can't read, they are 4 legged

Mine too Malibu....4 dogs and 2 horses. That's enough for me.

The Tomato Company

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids.


He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him,

"You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned,
"What, y ou don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also

Wow, I can't stop laughing, really. Have anything original, like circa 2006?