Dear Alcohol,

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.
As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication
is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m . Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you
suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine and topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls and chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I
need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black and blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is
getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin b, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later then Wednesday 3p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan
the drunk one

P.S. Things that are difficult to say when drunk:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things that are very difficult to say when drunk:
1. Specifically
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're really not my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing!

Big Smile....

WOW That was good.I quit drinking 5 years ago and the hangovers stopped at the same time,IMAGINE THAT--I found that those who say they never have a hangover ( me ) have never really known how good a person can feel at 7 AM--I now have lots more money to spend on other things and feel great every morning.Thanks for sharing SIN

There's 2 ways to not get a hangover.....don't drink or don't stop.

Frankly, I'm mad as hell about the hangovers. It seems far too high a price to pay.

That said, Scuba do, even on regular days, I don't feel all that great at 7 am. Lots of days, I might just as well have been drunk the night before. At least then, there'd be an excuse for feeling so lousy.

And thanks, SIN, I've passed on your note to others that will appreciate it.

Having buried 3 very drunk siblings before they hit 50 and both parents before 70 for the same reason,I am not fond of the bottle. At the funeral of alchol victim #5 I got to watch one of my remaining brothers stand at the casket and chug whisky and drop the bottle into the casket. I know most people can handle a few drinks, but in some families there is no such thing as a few. Got 2 more funerals to go to unless they crawl out of the bottle soon. Sorry guess I needed to unload this.

Oh my goodness, indygal... that must have been horrible
I am watching 2 of mine as well.

indygal, very sorry for your experience. I truly believe that these tendencies are some how in the family genes.

Indy, I have gone through the same experience with my former husband, who died at age 43. A horrible thing to watch and go through. Something I probably never will quite get past.

It is medically established that alcoholism is hereditary, along with several other factors. Sometimes it skips generations. The only cure is abstinence. The alternatives are death or insanity, or both.

Indygal, I, too have seen what alcohol can do to families. I've watched my brother pour budwiser on his cherrios in the morning. My dad, and all of his siblings were alcoholics. It is up to us to maintain, and know that we would be prone to an addictive lifestyle if we didnt stay on guard. It doesn't have to be alcohol, either. My niece is a heroin addict, and I can see the addiction happening to others in our family. Please know that you are NOT alone, and we are your friends, if you ever need someone to talk to, we will be here for you, and will understand.
Hugs, from one to another!
Suz

Thanks for sharing. Too bad so many people would rather die than ask for help. What a joy it is to watch some one get help and change right before our eyes.

It is indeed sad that some people suffer so, both those that have the immediate problem and those that watch helplessly.

I have had a family member die of alcoholism and lost an ex that way too. Currently, I have someone close to me struggling, struggling. These matters have, at different times, engendered both rage and sadness within me.

Regardless, I don't mind having a drink(s)and will imbibe freely more than one day in a row, if I'm on vacation. There's a large difference between my personal habits and their addiction.

I'm aware that many in AA don't believe it to be so. So be it.

Scuba: don't think they would rather die, it is just that many alcoholics are so far into their addiction/denial, etc., that they are unable to help themselves. Some of mentally incapable of processing the fact that their addiction is killing them. The recovery rate is low and always has been.

SS - I imbibe freely too, especially on vacation, just like many other folks. There is a huge difference between partying and addiction. Naturally, AA do not believe that adage, as they are unable to do it.

Additions are more than physical. They are also social and mental. A good example chrystal meth. Physicaly non addictive but very mental and socially addictive.

I so agree with you Seashell. I, too, will drink when I'm on vacation, and I will when I'm home. I suffer when I over do, but that's the price I pay. I also can go months without drinking, so I really don't think I have a problem, but some may feel otherwise. But, we are aware of what happens when we lose control, and that is what keeps us from becoming addicted. Knowing when enough is enough....and being able to walk away. Anyhow, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"There's a large difference between my personal habits and their addiction.
I'm aware that many in AA don't believe it to be so. So be it."

This statement confuses me. Are you saying that AA members are against anyone drinking alcohol?
That is not my experience. Alcohol is not the problem. Some of the biggest problems are with cultures that find drunkenness and dangerous behavior socially acceptable and that seeking help is a sign of weakness.
There is nothing wrong with social drinking – for those who can.

My two step-sons have a mum who is an alcholic. We have ongoing discussions with them about drinking (they're now 17 and 19), and their concerns about "inheriting" this disease themselves. Her two brothers, mum and dad all struggle(d) with this as well, which reinforces this worry. When my husband left his ex, he was quite forthcoming about the situation. People came out of the woodwork to tell him their stories and share support. Shame is such a motivater to keep silent,it seems...

Nuts: What a shame – pun intended! Education is the answer. My ex-husband died a drunk at an early age. My two children have grown up with full knowledge of their condition and drink accordingly. That is, they know the dangers and make decisions about when to drink and when not to even start drinking. They both dabbled with drugs and had enough sense to not go any further and to stop. They have both been able to stop smoking although my son cannot get off of the chew.
All these are potentially addictive substances. We must all learn to know ourselves – honestly – good luck with the teenagers.

Ahhh, snorting crank off a biker chick's butt, those were the days.

So true, Scubaldy. We all have to know our limits, and proceed accordingly.

Thanks Scuba. Our oldest son worries us more than our younger - he was exposed to her drinking for, obviously, a couple more years. Neithor will have anything to do with her - a decision they made years ago. We did a lot of family therapy the first 2 years we were together - hoping to give them as many tools possible to make the right decisions.

good for u nova... u're trying to make a difference!

Personally i think anything can become an addiction and i don't just mean alcohol or drugs... just ppl do need to know when to stop before it leads to harming them and their families! everybody will have thier own opinon on addictions and some ppl need to seek help in their own way... SOME ppl do not try to do anything for themselves b/c some are waiting for the help to come to them, not all mind u but some...

A close family friend, he's like a father to me, has gone for help and doing the change on his own and with family support, and for him right now it's water on the rocks! I'm so proud of him that he has finally taken those steps to better himself... he wants to see his grandchildren grow up!
It's definately tough to watch ppl u love go through that but sometimes u need to intervene and sometimes u can't...

ida - agree about anything becoming an addiction - got a call from a friend a week ago - his wife ran up yet another credit card to the tune of 7 grand in less than a year. Seems she did it a $1 scratch card at a time. And nothing to show for it, of course!

Good to hear about your friend going for help - no-one can do it for them, they have to make that decision and take those steps themselves.

Thanks everyone for the kind words.