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#231026 - 02/26/07 10:20 PM For Rykat and friends
SP Daily Offline

#231036 - 02/27/07 01:09 AM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: SP Daily]

#231059 - 02/27/07 12:16 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: ]
Sir Isaac Newton Offline
Nice Jesse,

I had to post it here:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Sincerely, Author Unknown in New California.


Check out my site: www.ambergriscayerealestate.net

#231073 - 02/27/07 04:30 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: Sir Isaac Newton]
CatMo Offline
Hehe. California. God's Etch-A-Sketch.
I was going to get a life, but this was easier.

#231078 - 02/27/07 06:15 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: CatMo]
Bobber Offline
How tediously elitest. But funny.
Been there, done that, the washing machine ate the T-shirt

#231081 - 02/27/07 08:15 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: Bobber]
Ernie B Offline
Wut Bobber said!
Gun Control is Hitting Your Target.

#231086 - 02/27/07 09:04 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: Ernie B]
Aw Sin, A mind is a terrible thing to waste but then you...eh who gives a futts.(yu aint here so why care?)
Wut Bobber said, also!

For the rest of ya, You get the left half of Congress, 99% of Hollywood,ABC, NBC,CNN, CBS News Orgs and all of France to move to. Turn off the lights on your way out! Don't forget your cool-aid!

(my favorite in that garbage was Pro Choice and Anti War...heh thats a good one)

#231091 - 02/27/07 10:22 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: ]
OESGwynedd Offline
well the land of granola. Fruits and nuts. you guys can have them all as far as i'm concerned! I've lived in both Calif. and Oregon and Back east and your welcome to them all.

#231093 - 02/27/07 10:25 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: OESGwynedd]
aaaannnnndddddd???? where's the land of milk and honey, Colorado?

(like that - fruits and nuts....Caleefornya :-) right on!!!

#231095 - 02/27/07 10:57 PM Re: For Rykat and friends [Re: ]
Otteralum Offline
I don't acknowledge the existence of red and blue states. I know that makes me weird -- just refuse to do it. It's an artificial construct designed to make the complex simpler. We all get dumbed-down in the process.
I will have a Belikin -- put it on klcman's tab.

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