Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
Topic Options
#236257 - 04/25/07 07:29 PM MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS
ScubaLdy Offline
Subject: GRANNY IN COURT
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.
_________________________
Harriette
Take only pictures leave only bubbles

Top
#236258 - 04/25/07 07:30 PM Re: MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS [Re: ScubaLdy]
ScubaLdy Offline
For those who think the UFO matter is a joke . . .
Subject: UFO in New Mexico
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an
unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and
cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by
the U.S. Air Force and the federal government. However, what you may NOT know
is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic
day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Bill O'Reilly, Rush
Limbaugh, Condoleezza Rice, and Dan Quayle were all born. See what
happens when aliens breed with sheep? This piece of information may clear up a
lot of things.
_________________________
Harriette
Take only pictures leave only bubbles

Top
#236260 - 04/25/07 07:43 PM Re: MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS [Re: ScubaLdy]
sweetjane Offline
thank you, harriette!!! yes, much needed! laugh

Top
#236266 - 04/25/07 08:11 PM Re: MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS [Re: sweetjane]
LaurieMar Offline
This is nothing to laugh at, but a cool tidbit of info:

At three minutes and four seconds after 2 a.m. on May 6th this year, the time and date will be:

02:03:04 05/06/07

This will never happen again.

Top
#236268 - 04/25/07 08:14 PM Re: MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS [Re: LaurieMar]
SP Daily Offline
Every hundred years????

Top
#236269 - 04/25/07 08:21 PM Re: MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS [Re: SP Daily]
sweetjane Offline
they said that when it was

01:02:03 04/05/06 too, and most likely will on 03:04:05 06/07/08.

still cool, i guess.

Top

Links
Click for excellent scuba lessons with Elbert Greer!


Things to do

News
Daily News
Daily Weather

Classified Ads
BelizeNews.com
San Pedro Sun
Ambergris Today
SP Town Council
Channel 7
Channel 5
Amandala
Love FM
The Reporter
Caye Caulker
Chronicles

PLUS TV
TV Newscasts
Radio Stations

Click for our
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites

Event Guides
Event Calendar
Specials & Events
Things to Do
SanPedroScoop
iTravel Belize
Paradise Theater

Blogs
San Pedro Scoop!
Tia Chocolate
Tacogirl
My Beautiful Belize
I-Travel Belize
Belize Adventure
Belize Hub
Romantic Travel
Bound for Belize
Conch Creative
As The Coconuts Drop
More Blogs...
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites
Chaa Creek is an award-winning luxury Belize Resort, rated as one of the worlds best Eco Lodges. We are a pioneer in adventure travel to Belize since 1981!
White Sands Dive Shop - 5 Star PADI Dive Facility - Daily diving, SCUBA instruction and Snorkeling
Caribbean Inspired All Natural Condiments & Spice Blends, Over 100 are Gluten Free!
We manage a variety of homes, apartments, condos and commercial properties here on Ambergris Caye. Our minimum lease on ALL properties is six months.
Conch Shell Inn: All rooms are right on the beach in the heart of San Pedro, so within walking distance to anything and everything!!
Lilí Alphonse has snorkel equipment to fit anyone as well as Marine Park Tickets and flotation devices to assist those not as experienced.
Coastal Xpress offers a daily scheduled ferry run to most resorts, restaurants and private piers on the island of Anbergris Caye. We also offer  private and charter water taxi service.
Mini Chat

Cayo Espanto
Click for Cayo Espanto, and have your own private island
More Links
Click for exciting and adventurous tours of Belize with Katie Valk!
December
S M T W T F S
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Who's Online
2 registered (dabunk, IGAmel), 35 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
18,674 Registered Members
44 Forums
64,056 Topics
462,294 Posts

Most users ever online: 1,262 @ 06/10/07 07:16 PM




AmbergrisCaye.com CayeCaulker.org HELP! Visitor Center Goods & Services San Pedro Town
BelizeSearch.com Message Board Lodging Diving Fishing Things to Do History
BelizeNews.com Maps Phonebook Belize Business Directory
BelizeCards.com SanPedroDaily.com Picture of the Day

The opinions and views expressed on this board are the subjective opinions of Ambergris Caye Message Board members
and not of the Ambergris Caye Message Board its affiliates, or its employees.