A notable gynecologist once said,
"The best engine in the world is the vagina..
It can be started with one finger.It is self-lubricating.It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so friggin temperamental."

you may appreciate this patriotic tune,,,
sing along, you know the words!

http://www.tagtele.com/swf/embed5.0.11.swf?autoStart=0&video_id=11924&videoImage=http://s.ttimg.com/img/videos/thumbs320x240/11924_default.jpg&k=&playlist=http://www.tagtele.com/videos/playlist/11924/1/

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach...



As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.

She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.

Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother, 'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.'

My view of real friendship



Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're Not.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass but I'll help you up..

9. This is my oath, I pledge it to the end. 'Why?'

'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, Then get depressed because you can only think of 4

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the
Other of the afterlife.

Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word,
he made the first contact, "Mary .....
Mary"

"Is that you,
Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful!
What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.

I have breakfast and then it's Off to the golf course ... I have sex again, bathe in
the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch
(you'd be proud - lots of Greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the
rest of the afternoon.

After supper, it's back to the golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much
needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob
you must be in Heaven!"

"Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"


The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."


The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.


The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"


The man answered "oh, about 164."


The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity','inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs',etc.......



The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."


Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"


This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.


The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??


This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".


The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,



...................



"A-r-e y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h

O-B-A-M-A?????

partisan robots, what an interesting concept.

They have them now, wearing Acorn and SEIU T Shirts, and holding signs someone printed for them....

At least our version will have better hygene

oh yeah, like the townhall smackdowns. The reason I used smackdown is that I was channeling surfing on the TV a couple of weeks ago and came across an "impassioned" townhall meeting on one channel, and the next channel was a WWF smackdown match and couldn't tell the difference between the two.

An interesting confession regarding your lack of perception...and to think, you had some people fooled into thinking you were reasoably bright

But I digress...this is "Smiles for the Day" not the Tim/Larry pi$$ing contest