On April 28th my beautiful wife will leave for England for 2 weeks to visit her ageing parents, and on Sunday 27th we will spend a special day together.
I will get up shortly before 5.30 am and bring her tea in bed, before watching the F1 Spanish Grand Prix live on Speed channel. While I’m sitting in front of TV, Jane will feed the cats, dog and horses, make me breakfast, pack the truck and then make herself look even more lovely than usual before we leave.
I’ll drive for 50 miles or so and after a coffee break, she’ll take the next 400 miles to Las Vegas while I alternate between yawning, belching, sneezing, farting, picking my nose, hiccupping, coughing, scratching and snoring!............It’s good to spend quality time together.
After we check into the hotel, she’ll immediately run down to the ultra chick mall stores to see what outfits she can duplicate at T.J. Max, while I order room service and watch the NASCAR race from Talladega, wishing I was in “The Infield” instead of some luxury hotel on the Strip.
When she returns form annoying shop girls by trying on things she has no intention of buying, we’ll discuss the many choices for romantic dining before settling on an all you can eat buffet somewhere: if I don’t get completely overstuffed, she’ll slip into an exciting little outfit while I treat her to Pugs Patented 2 minute thrill ride, and if we have any energy left after such a busy day, she’ll check my ears and nose for hair that needs trimming before we are asleep by 10pm
On Monday morning she’ll head tearfully for the airport, already missing her sweet prince, and counting the days until she’s back by my side: I’ll be heading back to the buffet, wondering if I have plenty of clean socks and if she’s left enough microwave snacks in the freezer as I look forward to 2 weeks of unsupervised ACMB time!
Life is good when you make the right choices…..
It's rarely rocket science, it's usually just math: then again if you can't do the math.......