There are less than two months until the election, an election that will

decide the next President of the United States. The person elected
will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the
Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get
together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice.
It's time that we come together, Democrats and Republicans alike.


If you support the policies and character of Obama and Biden please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support McCain and Palin please drive with your headlights off at night.


Thank you for your participation!

Two Mexican businessmen in Tijuana were sitting down for a break in
their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready,
with only a few shelves set up.One said to the other, 'I bet any
minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his
face to the window, and ask what we're selling. No sooner were the
words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Japanese
tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick
Japanese accent asked 'What you sell?' One of the men replied sarcastically,
'We're selling a$$-holes.' Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said,
'You doing velly well, only two left!'

hahahahahaha

Hey! I think I might know those two!

You probablt know more than those two.

A State Trooper pulled a car over on the interstate. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk, good old boy got out and watched the performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my sad ass to jail, there's no way in hell I can pass THAT test.'

 INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella

2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
      a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
      b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
      c. After wrecking your boss' car.
      d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
      e. When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
 
10: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel ..and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Ernie, pay attention, Ever ! Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything! .

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
      a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
      b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:  i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you  need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"  have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the  discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Mens Ice Skating (except Hockey) or Men's Gymnastics. Ever

Dear Jane,

You have my deepest sympathies.

Love,

Nova

I dont own a freekin Speedo !

Baby Boomers check this out - be sure the volume is up.

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb