It has been determined the most used sexual position for married couples is
the doggie position.



The husband sits up and begs.



The wife rolls over and plays dead.

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation, lost
his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

'May I see your identification, please?' asks the agent.
'I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet,' replies the guy.

'Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry,' says the agent.

'But I can prove I'm an American!' he exclaims. 'I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and George Bush on the other.'
'This I gotta see,' replies the agent.

With that, the guy drops his pants and shows the agent.

' By golly, you're right!' exclaims the agent. 'Have a safe trip back to Chicago .' 'Thanks!' he says . 'But how did you know I was from Chicago ?'

The agent replies, 'I recognized Barrack Obama in the middle.'

Ouch Bob.

btw pug, Mrs.O. has #16 licked.

I can attest to that!

#17 is the reason I only tend to drink when without Mrs Pug and in Belize

INVESTMENTS!!!! If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you
will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Pig.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Pig.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

Now that funny!

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=10089022

What a joke , Not a smile for the rest of the ~~~

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers...... They panhandle on different
areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only
collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL
of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and
has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos says to Jose 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how
do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?'
Jose says, .. 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?
Carlos sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.'
Jose says ' No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars'
Carlos says... 'So what does your sign say?'


Jose shows Carlos his sign......It reads, 'I only need another $10.00
to move back to Mexico '.

See...It's all about marketing