Mine is a cousin to GWB - found that in the newspaper - he was not thrilled - just the same ole boring boy!

Several California vintners in the Napa Valley area which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as Pino More.

GOOD GRIEF !

you AND Charlie Brown - couple of my favorites

Letter From Grandma



(She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:)



Dear Grand-daughter,



The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw

a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come

from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer

meeting.



So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.



Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.



I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought

about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had

changed.



It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked,

I'd never have noticed.



I found that lots of people love Jesus!



While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,

and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,

‘For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'



What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!



Everyone started honking!



I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all

those loving people.



I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!



There must have been a man from Florida back there because I

heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.



I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle

finger stuck up in the air.



I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.



Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window

and gave him the good luck sign right back.



My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious

experience!!



A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that

they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.



I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is

when I noticed the light had changed.



So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on

through the intersection.



I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection

before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave

them after all the love we had shared.



So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all

the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.



Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!



Will write again soon,



Love, Grandma

Where can I buy it???

---Mike moved to Minnesota and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The
farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad

news. The donkey died.'

'Well, then, just give me my money back', responded Mike.

'Can't do that', said the farmer. 'I went and spent it
already.'

'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

'What ya gonna do with him?' the farmer asked.

'I'm going to raffle him off.'

'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

'Sure I can', Mike said. 'Watch me. I just won't tell anybody
he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Mike and asked, 'What happened with
that dead donkey?'

'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a
profit of $898.00.'

'Didn't anyone complain?' the farmer asked.

'Just the guy who won', Mike admitted. 'So I gave him his two
dollars back.'

Mike now works for the Republican Party.

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.

"Yes. You're wearing contacts."

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"

"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."

A CEO needed a new CFO and was interviewing the applicants.
At the end of the first interview he asked the applicant what 2 plus 2 equals.
“Of course, it equals 4” smirked the applicant with a BA.
The CEO said “We’ll call you.”

At the end of the second interview he asked the same question.
“It depends on what base you are working with” answered the MBA applicant.
“Thanks, we will be in touch” said the CEO.

At the end of the third interview he again asked the question.
The applicant got up, closed the door, closed the window shades, crouched besides the CEO’s chair and said “What do you want it to be?” asked the new CFO.

The Gynecologist who became a Mechanic

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.


When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, " I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in my grade. "


The instructor said, " During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. " After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler "