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#363299 - 01/04/10 01:48 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion]
SP Daily Offline
Hisssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#363364 - 01/05/10 12:29 AM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion]
VT-CDN Offline
What chain of events led up to the Arkansas couple making love in the outhouse?

She asked him to "kiss me down there where it stinks!"


There Chat Away !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OR Kiss
_________________________
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .

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#363400 - 01/05/10 02:34 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion]
Bing Crosby Offline
I agree with jesse, wrong forum. It's also inaccurate; the 27th amendment prevents congress from giving themselves raises. Read the constitution champion.

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#363403 - 01/05/10 03:22 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Bing Crosby]
champion Offline
They are voting in raises, but held at bay until the next term, some may be in, and some may be out.

The Twenty-seventh Amendment (Amendment XXVII) prohibits any law that increases or decreases the salary of members of the Congress from taking effect, until the start of the next set of terms of office for Representatives. It is the most recent amendment to the United States Constitution, having been ratified in 1992, more than 202 years after its initial submission in 1789.

This was meant to be a pisser of a JOKE!

The whole of government is a JOKE!
_________________________
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol

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#363428 - 01/05/10 09:18 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion]
VT-CDN Offline
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke’s Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa.
The deaf one said to her twin, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”
“WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!”, said the other.
“Now get a little closer together”, said the cameraman.
Again, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”
“HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE”.
So, they wiggled up close to each other.
“Just hold on for a bit longer, I’ve got to focus a little,” said the photographer.
Yet again – “WHAT DID HE SAY?”
“HE SAYS HE’S GONNA FOCUS!”
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, “OH MY GOD – BOTH OF US?
_________________________
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .

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#363430 - 01/05/10 10:02 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: VT-CDN]
Ernie B Offline
You are running out of gas my friend.
_________________________
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

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#363465 - 01/06/10 11:03 AM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Ernie B]
Marty Offline
don't screw up a burger:

Woman Launches Into Hamburger Rage
Customer Throws Bucket, Upends Straws, Cash Registers

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Surveillance video from a Midtown McDonald's restaurant on Main Street shows a woman experiencing hamburger rage.

The incident happened on Dec. 27 and the video clearly shows a woman demanding a refund for what she claimed was an inferior hamburger. After being denied the refund, the video show her throwing a bucket of water over the counter along with other items, including a basket of straws, cookies, a sign and even three of the cash registers.

The incident played out in front of several unsuspecting customers, including children.

The woman was gone before police arrived. They are asking anyone who can identify the woman to call the TIPS hot line.

VIDEO: http://www.kctv5.com/video/22144014/

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#363470 - 01/06/10 11:20 AM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Marty]
champion Offline
Subject: Blonde In Post-Surgery .. . . . .



A surgeon went to check on his young blonde female patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How
long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again, doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one
has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."




_________________________
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol

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#363486 - 01/06/10 02:11 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion]
VT-CDN Offline
The economy is so bad that:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
_________________________
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .

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#363488 - 01/06/10 02:23 PM Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Ernie B]
VT-CDN Offline
Originally Posted By: Ernie B
You are running out of gas my friend.


Not by my Wifes words !!!

_________________________
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .

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