I'll start....military intelligence...

Heifer Bull

Plastic glass

sustainable development.

Artificial Intelligence

Religious freedom

Honest politician

open secret

pretty ugly

Stationary orbit

This is a fine mess! :P

American english

An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on

cheap vehicle

This is pretty ugly.....

exact opposite

clever fool

Corporate responsibility.

Somebody needs to get a job

politically correct

unbiased opinion

deafening silence

Jumbo shrimp

Good grief! (Charlie Brown!)

And one so many of us know:
Legally drunk

Military intelligence

accurate stereotype

free diving

fix that echo willya!

Liquid Gas

Genuine imitation

Organic Food

wickedly good

attentive husband?

smart ass

Bipartisan Cooperation

Living dead

adult male

love that one.

lol adult male!!

gift with purchase!

sanitary napkin

Pretty ugly

...and on that thought........................

righteous indignation

Compassionate Conservative

Security Bank

Unnecessarily nasty! Why?

why not?

honest politician

Liberal Bias!

If you were speaking to me, I am by no means a liberal. Georgia has the highest bank closure rate in the US. I am personally connected to a locally owned bank that was bought out by the larger Security Bank which the government has since taken over. Family member's stock is now worthless which amounts to hundreds of millions. Back to oxymorons...friendly banter...no harm intended.

Found missing

was directed at jhill/clover/h20/etc., but I thought GW took all our liberties away already................Bank Takeover....OMG!

Modern Classic!

Constructive criticism

The fish aren't biting Rykat....try again!

I blame OTO's Oil Spill, but enough of that....

Interesting to see "Compassionate Conservatism" and "Constructive Criticism" cited by someone who seems incapable of grasping either concept

Computer jock

Troll!!!

View Profile

Functional Illiterate

Ref previous post by seashell



(adding rykat att )

Intellectual Intercourse

act naturally

country music

Same difference

jesse, you are the most gross person on earth

serious joke

Joke = jesse

California style

Canadian Bacon

And before anybody blasts me, it's all in good fun.

BLASTS !

Not an oxymoron, Ernie, but it is an acronym for my favorite sandwich-bacon, lettuce, avocado,sprouts,and tomato sandwich. Yummy!

soft rock

Mildly Psychotic. Welcome back, LA!!!!

Slippery when wet

Lifelike

Real Phony

Completely invisible

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?


22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

I dunno, why do we?

The Pain of English...


We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let ' s face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England ..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks

who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play

and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,

how come Mother's not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE

FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES

THEN

PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES

AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!

Loners Club!

Attention defic

Serious Clown!

Georgia Chic

Hy, Ry!

Hello LA!!!!

Living Fossil

Smart Bomb.

Democratic Leadership