I had to take a test but wrote down what I could remember from the driver's guidebook. It's an open book test.
Belize Drivers Hand Book
1. When approaching a roundabout aim in whichever direction you want to go and pray. It is essential you jam your bumper into any tiny gap and add as much additional confusion to the situation as possible while continually beeping the horn.
If God wants you to survive you will make it out the other side.
2. Firstly ignore any oncoming traffic as it is your right to drive on the wrong side of the road once you have flashed your lights (if they work). Next swerve out quickly to ensure you surprise anyone arrogant enough to be trying to overtake you at the time. If this method fails due to too much oncoming traffic simply revert to overtaking on curb side.
Responsibility of collision. Under normal conditions the driver with the least political connections would most likely be responsible for the collision but there are special circumstances, if the person driving one of the cars happens to be a foreigner then unquestionably the responsibility relies entirely on him or her. If questioned as to how this could be possible the simply reply is "If you were not in my country I would not have crashed into you."
5. Taxies and busses are required to stop for excessive amounts of time and right across intersections to pick up customers as to not only block following traffic but also any vehicles coming from side streets. This is to maximize potential customers, it is also important to remain ignorant to any sense of urgency from the people already onboard. This will also give everyone the opportunity to marvel at your vehicles decorations.
6. If a foreigner is driving a car, this is the perfect opportunity to make some cash. Once car the gringo enters the intersection drive into it ensuring moderate damage to both vehicles. Once the driving exits his vehicle begin yelling about how badly damaged it is and quote him a repair price many times what is required. For the most profit aim for the expensive vehicles to maximize the potential quote.
7. When encountering a pedistrian crossin the road, speed up. This will ensure the pedestrian has an extra incentive to move quickly or give the driver time to get past the pedestrian and not get stuck worrying about not having the breaks repaired last week when the pads fell off.
First Come First Served.
8. Giving way is a sign of weakness so at every possible chance ensure you make it through the intersection with aggressive driving. Additionally this will ensure you get to where you are going allowing for more time to be spent doing absolutely nothing.
9. When parking we encourage creative thinking, treat it like a puzzle. Try to insert as many vehicles in an area as possible and if necessary mount the curb or park in an intersection.
10. Park wherever you want
11. In Belize as well as Honduras and Nicaragua, we have discovered a way to streamline the process of getting a full license and everyone seems happy with the results. Really we can't see any down side to the new process. Come in with some ice cold beers. Drink and chat with the staff. Accidentally drop a fity BZ and tell the man you have a bad back so he can pick it up and have some good lunch. Pick up DL. get some more ice cold beer for the drive home.
13. More of a recommendation than a rule.
14. Feel free to completely ignore this sign it is simply to confuse stupid foreigners.
15. Originally used to warn of approaching speed bumps but it was decided to discontinue its use after discovering the sheer volume required.
16. If you see a kangeroo on the side of the road you have clearly taken a wrong turn.
Heavy vehicles Crossing.
17. Warning this area has frequent large overweight foriegn tourists crossing the road. Be prepared to spend a great deal of time blocked by one or more while you pointlessly honk your horn.
19. Road works ahead so begin slowing down now. As you get closer slow to an absolute crawl so you can get a better view of all the workers doing nothing. If the work is particularly interesting feel free to stop in the middle of the road and exit your vehicle for an optimal view.
Additional Driving Requirements
20. All drivers must be well trained in the art of texting on mobile phones while driving.
21 Seat belts should never be worn and if possible even removed.
22. Studies have found drunk drivers get to their location quicker. We recommend several bottles of Beliken or some One Barrel before and during driving to assist with traffic flow.
23. To help keep traffic to a minimum we recommend putting as many people into one vehicle as possible. Roofs and bumpers are also another good location for stacking passengers.
24. When towing another vehicle use an old piece of rope that is guaranteed to break and never add a ‘vehicle in tow’ sign so as to give your fellow motorist a pleasant surprise when overtaking.
25. Speed limits are determined by your paint job and muffler. The fancier your paint work and louder your exhaust the faster you can go.
All preceding rules are pure speculation as no LTO officer could be found that had learned to drive or would agree to follow any set down rules.
More disclaimer. Never, ever, get in a golf cart with Jerry Jeff Walker while on the Caye!
Dr Walkabout Buzzard