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#187153 01/14/06 10:01 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,641
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clover Offline OP
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Feet cold and wet: Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Feet warm and wet: Improper bladder control. Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Beer unusually pale and tasteless: Glass empty. Get someone to buy you another beer.

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights: You have fallen over backward. Have yourself leashed to bar.

Mouth contains cigarette butts: You have fallen forward. See above.

Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

Floor blurred: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. Get someone to buy you another beer.

Floor moving: You are being carried out. Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Room seems unusually dark: Bar has closed. Confirm home address with bartender.

Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. Cover mouth.

Everyone looks up to you and smiles: You are dancing on the table. Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Beer is crystal-clear: It's water! Somebody is trying to poison you. Punch him.

Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. You have been in a fight: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in: You've wandered into the wrong party. See if they have free beer.

Your singing sounds distorted: The beer is too weak Have more beer until your voice improves.

Don't remember the words to the song: Beer is just right. Play air guitar!

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 203
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thanks Clever, I mean Clover. I will print this & carry it with me each evening on SP for reference. It may make it easier for me to face everybody the morning after (or not). Ha.


when in doubt...do without
Joined: Oct 2005
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clover Offline OP
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A valuable tool in time of need!

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 167
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Quote
Originally posted by clover:
Beer is crystal-clear: It's water! Somebody is trying to poison you. Punch him.
LMAO! laugh

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 977
RMT Offline
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Lol....good one thank you laugh


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