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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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Jane left sunny PA. to see if NY could cheer her up from her winter blues. In New York she became so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.
He took pity on our Jane plus he saw her AC pictures on the web and thought she looked pretty hot and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
Jane thought for a while and then nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Zeke was already married and had Susie for a girlfriend so what was there to stay in the USA for? Maybe a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," Jane explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He sure is, lady," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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ahem, what does this say of your opinion of my intellegence? i have a sexy brain too. haven't you noticed my spelling and grammar are always impeccable? besides, i don't put out for just sandwiches...
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
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Jane, Zeke has really let loose this time!!! We'll have to think of something REALLY special for him for when I go..... Still have my fingers crossed that you'll be there too. Put your thinking cap on. You ARE a bright gal, I'll have no doubt you'll come up with something...... Deb
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
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OKAY ZEKE!!!! YOUR TURN!!!!! In honor of your 50th!!! Zeke's Trip to the doctor Zeke goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me TO much. May farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. It's just a little tiresome and can be inconvenient. I'll bet you didn't even know I was farting becuase they don't smell and are so silent. Can you help me? I'm going on vacation soon, and would like to be able to snorkel without embarrassement." The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week". The next week Zeke returns to the doctor. "Doctor!" he says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts....although still silent....stink TERRIBLY! What did you do to me?" The doctor says, "Good!!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing problem." Debbie ( can't wait to meet you!)
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Ha! i'm ROF! zeke, where r u?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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Jane, Shaker, & Debbie walk into Zeke's bar and Zeke tells them in the bathroom theres a magical mirror that will give you something good, if you tell it the truth. If you lie you get sucked in and you are history. The girls liked the idea so they all walked into the bathroom. Jane says "I think I'm the best looking person in this bar" and out popped out her prize. Of couse she might not have been the best looker there, but as long as she was telling the truth she was fine. Next Shaker goes to this magical mirror and says "I think I'm the smartest girl in this bar." It was the truth, because we are in Zeke's bar so that ain't meaning a hell of alot being the smartest cookie in this jar, so a prize popped out of the mirror. Next Debbie says "I think...." She was sucked into the mirror and never seen again
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
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SMART ASS!!! [This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 02-14-2001).]
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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BURNED, BABY!!
zeke, how could you do that to our sweet debbie?
besides, i happen to know she once dumped a pot of hot beans in the lap of someone who crossed her.
still want to meet her in june??!! ha!
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
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ROFLMAO!!!! I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. I can't even type....... Jane!!!! Shame on you. You'll scare him...... Zeke, I promise I won't dump beans on you. *still laughing* I'm getting choked up here.... Yes, folks, Jane knows me VERY well.... Well, I've had my laugh for the day. Poor Zeke. I have to put in a disclaimer here. I'm NOT a nut case. Hope you still come for my birthday Debbie
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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Jane.....the only thing that I am worried about with Debbie meeting me is that she will probably want to leave her husband for me. I shamefully admit that I do have that effect on woman. It is not easy being this sex symbol! I find it very difficult that woman ONLY want me for my body. I wish you girls would realize that I have a mind too.
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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