AmbergrisCaye.com Home
Posted By: crayonlover06 Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 02:59 AM
Just for fun, what does your kid say or do that is too much for words?
Posted By: Anonymous Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:24 AM
I reallly hope this doesn't offend anyone:

I have a good friend who teaches 2nd grade. He was over for dinner a few nights ago and said his class had been in rare form. He was reading them a story about a couple of forest animals, apparently both male.
One kid interrupts and asks, "Are they married?"
Second kid pipes up, "Noooooo, they can't be married, they're both boys."
Third kid chimes in, "Ohhh yes they can - boys can get married and when they do, they're called hobos."
Posted By: JoeFehr Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:34 AM
That is a good one!
Except here in Canada the 2nd kid would have been Conservative and the 3rd Liberal!!
Posted By: travelqueen Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:35 AM
ha ha ha ha ha ha hah aha ha ah ha!

That's too funny!

I don't know how funny this is but my 4 year old daughter craves sushi - it's bizarre. When we're at the grocery store, she runs over to where it's kept and she break opens the package and starts eating it right there. I have to try to calm myself from laughter because of the people staring in amazement. They mostly say the same thing, "good, start her early!", or, and my thoughts, "that's BIZARRE!" or a blank stare. It's pretty funny.
Posted By: travelqueen Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:39 AM
When she was a bit younger, she had a stuffed toy named Stitch. Well, of course it's harder for a young person to say "ssssssssstttttttt". They're first words start off like "bbbbbbbb". You get the picture but boy was she loud calling for that toy and yet again, me, trying to hold back the laughter.
Posted By: krehfish Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 02:25 PM
Back in the day my now 18 yr old daughter was a huge fan of 101 dalmations. You may remenber the scene where all the pups have been kidnapped and are sitting in front of a TV, discussing their past- some strays some from homes. Well my daughter knew the names of all the dogs. I remember asking her the names of two particular pups- she replied "daaaad- thats Bought and Paid For"
Posted By: klcman Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:04 PM
Sure TQ, sure - try and get me to believe you did't give her speech lessons! ahahahaha

(BTW, where's my seat 2A???)
Posted By: Sun&sand Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:20 PM
When my daughter was five, my then "boyfriend" was balding. He was bent over tying her shoe, and she said "T..you have pretty hair. Why do you shave the top?" He just didn't quite know what to say, I was hysterical. She was looking at him with such sincerity.
Posted By: Hon Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:44 PM
When my youngest son was about a year old we discovered that he was lactose intolerant. At about 3 years of age, when he started going to birthday parties, pre-school, etc., we started to educate him about staying away from foods containing milk and milk products so that he could avoid the gastrointestinal effects they caused.

Fast forward to the age of 4 1/2 or so - we are out for dinner at a nice restaurant. The kids are dressed up and on their best behaviour. After dinner the waitress, who has taken a liking to the good looking boys who are so polite, says because they have been so good she is going to bring them both a big dish of ice cream.

Son says calmly and with perfect diction, "I can't have ice cream. It gives me the shits!" Every one who heard just howled with laughter laugh
Posted By: travelqueen Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:45 PM
Sun, that is FUNNY!

No klc, I don't promote the "b" word at home. Although I sometimes use it in the car! laugh

I'll let ya know about 2a upon my arrival. I'm sure it'll be great! wink
Posted By: travelqueen Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:47 PM
Hon, where'd he learn that word? LOL
Posted By: Hon Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 03:52 PM
I may have let it slip once or twice...in the car :p laugh
Posted By: Gela Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 04:27 PM
Quite some time ago, my neighbor Sue and her son Anthony lived above me. Anthony was about 3 at the time. He was a crack up. I called him a "card" once - he got terribly upset. Guess he thought it was something very bad. When he wanted a drink, he would say he was "Thursday" instead of thirsty. Also, his Mom was a large women and he would ask us who was older - I told him I was, but he couldn't understand the concept of a smaller person (like himself) being older than a larger person.

I always enjoyed watching David Linkletter and his "kids".

Thanks for the grins laugh
Posted By: RMT Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 05:31 PM
I hestitated on sharing this one as it is a "family" site but it was funny to me at any rate...

My son was about 5 at the time and we were laying on his bed reading books one night. We have always taught him the correct names of body parts, no cutesy names. He knew what he had, lol but I never explained what women had as I figured he didn't have one so he didn't need to know at that point. Well that night he was asking me very seriously so I figured ok..tell him. "Mommy, what do girls have down there"?? I said "A v*gina". He then proceeds to jump up and down on the bed shouting.....

V*GINA!! V*GINA!!!!! That rhymes with CHINA!!!!

End of serious discussion laugh
That reminds me of a Seinfeld episode that I will not elaborate on.
Posted By: reaper Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 05:53 PM
My son used to watch all of the old Batman TV shows with me on Nic at Nite when he was 4. One day he he was being a handful and finally smarted off to mom once to many. As she was coming over to him he looked at me and said in a serious tone "Oh no...it looks like its curtains for me, Batman"! His mom cracked up, I was howling and he avoided all mishap!
Posted By: RMT Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 06:01 PM
BAM!*&#@ POW!! LOL Reaper
Posted By: travelqueen Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/28/06 07:54 PM
Ironically, I just received this fwd...

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences.

Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the "better" ones.



1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea were I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded buy sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6 )

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, When the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said thy would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9. When you go swimming in the sea, ti is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)
Posted By: KathyA Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/29/06 06:15 PM
When my now 41 year old younger brother was about 3 or 4 he asked my mother how you know if God is talking to you. She replied that it was a little voice in your head that tells you what you should and should not do. He then said that he heard God talking to him in the kitchen when saw the cookies on the counter (which we weren't supposed to help ourselves to). He told my mother that God told him to.."get 'em!"
Posted By: klcman Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/30/06 12:54 AM
A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.

2.Strike while the........................................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.....................Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ........ termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ......... how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ............. looks dirty.

7. No news is.........................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............................... Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll . stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust .............. me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.

13. An idle mind is...............................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ....................... not much.

17. Two's company, three's .......................... the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ........you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as .................... Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ........... spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ........... get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you . ........see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind ....................... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than .pregnant
Posted By: Barbara K Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 03/30/06 07:34 PM
Now THAT was a laugh out loud!!!!!
Posted By: crayonlover06 Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 04/04/06 09:07 PM
Now this topic really got some good posts. This was to much fun! Thanks all!
Posted By: Belikin Bill Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 04/04/06 09:56 PM
Excellent Klcman!!!
Posted By: sweetjane Re: Kids say/do the darndest things! - 04/07/06 07:31 PM
true: when they built the new BJ's wholesale club near us last fall, boyfriend's 12 yr old son asked "c'mon, what were they thinking when they named a store THAT?" :0

ps - so, then my 11 yr old daughter asked what he meant for 3 months, and i said i wouldnt tell her until she was 12. then, of course, her dad bluntly told her anyway, and she said "eeewwwww."
© Ambergris Caye Belize Message Board