How Rude

      I’d like permission to beat a dead horse.
    (I see some eye rolls, hear some groans, and oohh…there! A nod!)
    Thank you.

    Recent events have propelled me to take a long hard look at the people around me, and when some of their actions start making certain hip hop stars seem amateur in notoriety, well, I wonder at the company I keep. Yes, I am talking about the dreaded incident between a blond country cutie and a certain loudmouth, sad excuse of a hip hop loser.

Mary Gonzalez's Facebook profile

    In the span of seconds, he catapulted to the screens across millions of homes, the epitome of gracelessness, lack of class and rudeness that people only imagined existed. You deal with your average person interrupting a conversation by telling them they are rude and move on. What do you do when someone steals your moment? No amount of apologies will make up for that. The moment is gone – and really, as in that prime example, the limelight does indeed bathe the offender in question. Everything and everyone else is forgotten, and it’s all about the guy who wanted attention in the first place.

    Which brings me to real life and what happens in it. (I do other things besides watch overpriced awards shows you know…)

    Two friends meet for dinner. The conversation is about everything under the sun, and then some about the moon. At some point, the talk turns to childhood, and what makes people who they are. One friend feels the need to confide in the other about the childhood nightmare she went through. It has taken a lot for the person to get to the point where that incident can be told without communal crying, so this milestone is pretty important. But then the other friend casually says, “Oh, it’s not that shocking, I’ve heard worse…”

    How rude; and more to the point, how hurtful. There was the other friend, pouring her heart out and the other just dismissed it. And, rather than back up that casual remark with an actual story, she kept talking about other things that mattered to her, while the hurt friend struggled internally. Of course, she’s not going to just stop the conversation completely and walk out. She should have – but that would have been too rude. There are people who mind their manners enough to know how to behave. But will she be sharing deep meaningful stories with that other so-called friend? Probably in the next lifetime, but most certainly not in this one.

    I’ve seen my share of other smaller, not so deep incidents that make me wonder about where our manners have gone.

    I was taking pictures of some friends the other day, and the frame was set up, and I was all set to click, when bam! In jumps the perpetual limelight seeker. When I expressed my displeasure, she got offended and all kinds of mad and stalked off. All I kept thinking was, “Damn, glad I have Photoshop!”

    I keep mulling it over in my head, wondering if I was in the wrong for offending her, thinking it over in my head and seeing it play out over and over again, and you know, it’s so classic who ends up over-thinking the situation. Rude people move on with their lives, and carry on disrupting others’ moments, spoiling the shot, belittling conversations, and in general keep living according to their rules. We’re the ones left reeling, thinking, Photoshopping, scratching our heads and wondering why.

    Well, I will go out on a limb and say it’s time to stop being so submissive. Don’t let go of the microphone when someone tries to interrupt your speech; bop them in the head with it and call security. They won’t mess with you again. If you’re not up for any music awards anytime soon, well, use your voice.

    Say out loud how you feel about a situation and about a person who is being rude. Point out to them what they’re doing, and keep doing so until they stop or until they find someone else to bother. Do not, under any circumstances, give them reason that they’re emotionally retarded because they had a poor upbringing. There are many people out there who have had similar or worse, yet they live according to the rules. Giving them a cop-out means we fuel further bad behavior. And if you’re excusing the rude ones, what are the requirements for excusing the criminals?           

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