This woman was choosing her second home, to get away from all the stress of high style living in California or wherever she was from. Her budget? A mere US$600,000. That’s $1.2 million dollars to this poor Belizean – in other words, a whole LOTTA cash. She looked at truly beautiful places, each one of them, unique and gorgeous - and luxurious. I don’t think I could ever hope to own a place half as gorgeous. But I sure will try! Anyway, I digress.

    After getting the drinks together and settling in for a rousing good time, hoping to see some class shots of a place so familiar and near and dear to my heart, I waited for the show to begin. I had some real sympathy for her, because I mean, truly, working three jobs, and not spending enough time with family can be hard! And she’s beautiful, but really, that’s beside the point (tee hee).

    Cut to some cool shots of downtown Ambergris Caye. Such a beautiful place indeed, and no wonder she wants to come and spend time here!

    And then, she started the tour. What a classic!

    “Oh, the third bedroom doesn’t have it’s own private bath!”

    “I want a place where I won’t have my cell phone ringing, and a place where I can do as little work as possible.” (Wait, I know we’re a third world country sweetie, but you do know that we have many amenities here right?)

    “Oh, I don’t like rattan furniture! I am not sure I like that TV”

    Wait, you have six hundred freaking thousand dollars to spend on a place. You mean to tell me that you can’t afford to buy your own flat screen? You’re probably a real go-getter. You’re telling me that you can’t work out something with the agents where you get furniture you’re happy with? You know, for someone who wants to come down and relax, those are rather strident standards! At this rate, do you even want a TV, if your plan is to snorkel and indulge in nature? It’s barefoot relaxation honey, not South Beach!!

    Needless to say, after watching that show in its entirety, it was a free for all discussion. Honestly, Belize is a wonderful place, and we offer so much. But to know that there are people who demand a bathroom per bedroom, and can’t see anything other than a flat screen. Worrying about a pier in front of their condo that could, GASP!, mean people using it and blocking your private time. For all her stringent requests, she should have built her own place!

    I can’t wait to see what does happen when she actually comes to live here! How will she react to other things that we’ve gotten used to, like, electricity going off on a whim? Water being cut off once in a while for repairs? People being nice and friendly, coming up talking to you while you’re out and about? Ha! Imagine one of the land sharks hitting her up.

    I would like to know the condo/building agents’ reaction to the show. Being shown in a not-so-flattering light, when the reality is so much better, and bigger. That must have been such a disappointment!

    Thankfully, not everyone who’s moved down her behaves like that. Some people actually have their priorities straight, and have learned the way of the worm, which is adapt to the place they’re moving to. You don’t change an entire community; you embrace it, become a part of it, and if you don’t have a third bathroom, then for god’s sake, don’t cry about it – no-one cares, it’s just another day in paradise!