with a wild imagination like that, you should call the producers of temptation island. That sounds like a potential plot for their next episode.
It wouldn't work for me, however, I can't walk by a telephone booth with my sweetie because he has, in the past, lept inside and after a moment of jostling about, he emerges with blue tights and a red cape. It's the strangest and most amazing thing I've ever seen. (He's very attractive like that).
Pygmies wouldn't stand a chance against that man of mine. I'm sorry. . . .
Your only hope might be the movies.

It's funny how, on many of these topics, they start out with "gifts for the children," for example, and end up with pygmies and blue tights. Or starting topic of jack and jill, then ending with which tropical resort serves the best yellowtail snapper with mango chutney. A strange and wonderful message board to say the least!