This guy walks into a bar and sees a lady sitting by herself. He goes over and
buys her and drink and they chat a while and he leaves
with her to go to her place. They are in the middle of having a good time when
he hears a noise at the door and she says "It's my
husband home for lunch... quick, hide in the closet!" So he does.

He's standing in the closet when he hears this small voice... "Gee, it's dark in
here". He looks around trying to find out where it came
from when he hears it again... "Gee, it's dark in here..."

He quickly whispers "Shhhh, who are you?"

The little voice says "That's my mommy and daddy out there, gee, it's dark in
here, I'm scared, I'm gonna scream."

The man whispers back "No, PLEASE don't scream. I'll give you five dollars if
you don't scream."

The little boy answers "Gee, it's dark in here, I'm pretty scared, I'm gonna

"I'll give you ten dollars if you don't scream."

"Gee, it's dark in here, I'm REALLY scared, I'm gonna scream..."

The guy says "Look kid, here's FIFTY dollars, it's all I have, don't scream."

"Ok." the kid whispers quietly.

So the guy waits in the closet till he hears the husband finish lunch and as
soon as he hears the door close he runs out of the closet
and jumps out the window and runs down the street. Later that afternoon, the
lady is out shopping with her son at the mall when he
sees a bike in the toy store window and says to his mom "Gee, I'd REALLY like
that bike."

"Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a bike."

The kid says, "That's ok, I can buy it myself, I have fifty dollars."

She pulls him aside and asks him "WHERE did you get fifty dollars?"

"I'll never tell."

"You BETTER tell me where you got that money."

"I'll never tell."

"You must have done something bad to get that money. I'm taking you to church
and you can tell the priest how you got that money in
confession." So she does.

The little boy is in the confessional and the door closes and he says "Gee, it's
dark in here..."

And the priest answers "Now let's not start THAT shit again..."

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.