Shit may just be the most

powerful word in the English language.

You can be shit faced,

shit out of luck,

or have shit for brains.

With a little effort,

you can get your shit

together, find a place for your shit

or decide to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit,

buy shit,

sell shit,

lose shit,

find shit,

forget shit,

and tell others to eat shit and die.

Some people know their shit

while others can't tell the difference

between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits,

dumb shits,

crazy shits,

and sweet shits.

There is bull shit,

chicken shit.

and horse shit

You can throw shit,

sling shit,

catch shit,

or duck when shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit

or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit

or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit,

some days are hotter than shit,

and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit,

things can look like shit,

and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit,

the right shit,

the wrong shit or

a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit,

have a mountain of shit,

find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit

and other times you swim in a lake of shit

and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's

the basic building block of creation.

And remember, once you know your shit, you

Don't need to know anything else!

You could pass this along if you give a shit.

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.