A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand.

The agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of this fine young specimen.

"You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of?"

"Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no sir", said the handsome young man.

"I dare say I know the reason why, wtih a name like yours, said the agent.

Sir?

Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. that is not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I would love to represent you, but you will have to change your name.

Sir, the man protested. The Van Lesbian name was my fathers, my grandfathers and his father's name. We have carried the name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason.

If you will not change your name, I cannot represent you, replied the agent.

Then I bid you farewell - my name will not change.

With that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agent's office, never to return.

FIVE YEARS LATER:

The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. . .

He opened the envelope and removed the letter. AS he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from the folds and onto his desk.
The check was for $50,000.00! He read the letter:

Dear Sir:

Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become and actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying Penis Van Lesbian had been carried in my family for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and changed my name.

Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions worldwide. Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept the enclosed check with my humble thanks.

Very Sincerely yours,

DICK VAN DYKE