this is titled: Male Bashing
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
> >Dating children.
> >How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
> >In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
> >What should you give a man who has everything?
> > A. A woman to show him how to work it.
> > B. Penicillin
> >Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
> > To stop the snoring before it starts.
> >Why don't men have mid-life crises?
> > They stay stuck in adolescence.
> >How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
> > He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
> >How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
> > All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
> >How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
> > At the circus the clowns don't talk.
> >Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> > For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
> >Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
> > They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the
> >What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> > A. A dog is always happy to see you
> > B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train
> >Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
> > Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
> >Why are blonde jokes so short?
> > So men can remember them.
> >What do you call a man with half a brain?
> > Gifted.
> >What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
> > One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
> >What did God say after creating man?
> > I can do better.
> >Husband: Want a quickie?
> > Wife: As opposed to what?
> >Why do men want to marry virgins?
> > They can't stand criticism.
> >What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
> > A man's undivided attention.
> >How is a man like a snowstorm?
> > Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll
> > get, or how long it'll stay.
> >Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
> > To keep them from grazing.
> >If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience
> >stores and drive-through windows.
> >Why do men name their penises?
> > Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who
> > makes all their decisions.