Fruitcake Recipe
> > > >
> > > > 1 cup water
> > > > 1 cup sugar
> > > > 4 large eggs
> > > > 2 cups dried fruit
> > > > 1 teaspoon baking soda
> > > > 1 teaspoon salt
> > > > 1 cup brown sugar
> > > > lemon juice
> > > > nuts
> > > > 1 gallon whiskey
> > > >
> > > > Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
> > > > Take a large bowl.
> > > > Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
> > > > Pour one level cup and drink.
> > > > Repeat.
> > > > Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy
> > > > bowl.
> > > > Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
> > > > Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.
> > > > Turn off mixer.
> > > > Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
> > > > cup of dried fruit.
> > > > Mix on the turner.
> > > > If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry
> > > > it loose with a drewscriver.
> > > > Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
> > > > Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
> > > > Check the whiskey.
> > > > Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
> > > > Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
> > > > Whatever you can find.
> > > > Grease the oven.
> > > > Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
> > > > Don't forget to beat off the turner.
> > > > Throw the bowl out of the window.
> > > > Check the whiskey again.
> > > > Go to bed.
> > > > Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
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