you think you've heard/read it all....

(04-23) 12:15 PDT -- HAYWARD -- Locked out of his stepmother's home, a 23-year-old man tried to slide down the chimney like Saint Nick, except without any presents -- or clothes.

Or success, according to police officers who weren't in a festive mood after they spent an hour pushing the naked man back up before dawn Saturday.

Michael Urbano, who completed 75 percent of the journey down, was treated for minor injuries and arrested for being high on drugs, Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson said Sunday.

It all began at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, Branson said, when Urbano arrived at the house on Cliffwood Avenue, couldn't find his way inside through traditional means and climbed to the roof.

What happened next offers a cautionary tale for burglars and an homage to the unblemished career of Kriss Kringle.

Urbano disconnected a cable-television wire on the roof, then disrobed

-- he claimed his clothes would have impeded his descent -- and began to rappel down the chimney, Branson said.

The cable snapped, sending Urbano into a freefall until he got wedged inside the chimney three-quarters of the way down, where he stayed for four hours.

His muffled calls for help finally prompted a neighbor to phone police about 6:30 a.m.

Responding officers scoured the area before they noticed the chimney's spark arrester had been disconnected. After climbing the roof, they spotted Urbano.

The officers found Urbano's clothes inside the house, at the bottom of the chimney. Then the difficult work began.

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But then what do I know, I am but a mere caveman