I have a bunch of cloth!! I am man (hmmm! let me check-Yup A Man)
I am an Ordained Minister of The First Church Of The Gooey Death and Discount House of Worship. Formally ordained by Dr. Billy Saul Hargus back in '75. Billy, of Del Rio, Texas fame.
He may or not be God's Other Son.

Yes there are Ministers avialable and I don't think it will cost you too much. I refuse to give a number in fairness to them as we are all in the same boat with GODDDDUHHH. Amen, say Hallaluwhatever and put your hand upon the radio and say JJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSUUUSSS
Please leave us credit card number so we can send you a road map to JJJEEEESSSSUUUSS. Say hallejueh if ya can spell it and say Amen.
God I miss Imus in the morning