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Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103653
05/23/05 04:44 PM
05/23/05 04:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 48
Rosemount, Minnesota USA
C
CyaBye Offline OP
 
CyaBye  Offline OP
C
Hell Explained

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103654
05/23/05 04:55 PM
05/23/05 04:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 118
Maine
M
Moon Offline
 
Moon  Offline
M
Loved it!


Cheers!
Moon
Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103655
05/23/05 04:55 PM
05/23/05 04:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,925
inuvi
papashine Offline
.
papashine  Offline
laugh


Reality..What a concept!
Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103656
05/23/05 09:30 PM
05/23/05 09:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 18
Sevier County Tennessee
Tennessee Tim Offline
 
Tennessee Tim  Offline
My kind of logic!

Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103657
05/23/05 10:12 PM
05/23/05 10:12 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
A
Sounds like:
God is love.
Love is blind
Ray Charles is blind
Ray Charles is God?
EH...not exactly.

Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103658
05/24/05 07:14 AM
05/24/05 07:14 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,952
Frigin Cold Columbus, Ohio
Otteralum Offline
.
Otteralum  Offline
Hilarious. Not only am I getting valuable first time Belize travel advice, I'm being entertained. What a board!


I will have a Belikin -- put it on klcman's tab.
Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103659
05/24/05 09:37 AM
05/24/05 09:37 AM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
A
Did you mean Hillaryous?

Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103660
05/24/05 09:58 AM
05/24/05 09:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 354
Salt Lake City, Utah
K
kathyw Offline
.
kathyw  Offline
K
No, its HELL-ARYOUS!!! TOOOO FUNNY

Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103661
05/24/05 10:54 AM
05/24/05 10:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 306
San Pablo area of san Pedro, A...
Beachy Offline
 
Beachy  Offline
God I miss school, and occasionally, Teresa.
:rolleyes:


Casa Picasso celebrated three yearsthis May, thanks to all of you!
Chris and Jen
Re: Time for the lighter side, anyone else? #103662
05/25/05 10:24 AM
05/25/05 10:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 48
Rosemount, Minnesota USA
C
CyaBye Offline OP
 
CyaBye  Offline OP
C
Oh Please,

When I said "anyone else" I expected someone else may have a joke or two to share, hint, hint!

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