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#133665 - 01/08/01 10:45 AM Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 758
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
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CAPTAIN bigzeke  Offline
Slogans for women's T-shirts
Now girls now don't cheat for you must read #28!

01. So many men, so few who can afford me.
02. God made us sisters; Prozac makes us friends.
03. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
04. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...
I just can't remember it all.
05. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
06. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes,
seeks frog.
07. Coffee, chocolate, men... Some things are just better rich.
08. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
09. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
10. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
12. I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
15. I hate everybody...and you're next.
16. And your point is...?
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.
23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
24. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
26. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
27. Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
28. If only Zeke would cheat on his wife what a lucky girl I would be!


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
#133666 - 01/08/01 12:26 PM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 758
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
.
CAPTAIN bigzeke  Offline
I took my wife and mother-in-law with me to the Belize jungle after an Amergris Caye visit. One morning, my wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens me and we both set off to find my dear mother-in-law.

Suddenly, we break into a clearing and there's my mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a pissed off Belizean jaguar!

"Quick, darling," my wife shouts frantically, "Do something!"

"Oh, no," I say, "That jaguar got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
#133667 - 01/08/01 04:37 PM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  

**DONOTDELETE**
Unregistered
Anonymous
oh zeke, you are unstoppable!! (keep 'em comming!!)

#133668 - 01/08/01 05:32 PM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 758
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
.
CAPTAIN bigzeke  Offline
Mad cow disease

A female reporter was assigned to do an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow disease.

"Do you have any idea what might cause this condition?" she asked.

The farmer, stared at the lady and said, "Did you know that the bull only screws the cow ONCE a year?

The lady getting embarrassed responded, "No, I didn't. However, what does that have to do with Cow Madness?

The farmer continued, "Well ma'am, did you know that we milk the cow TWICE a day!?"

The reporter, "Again, no I didn't, but I don't understand how this relates to the issue either."
The farmer said, "I am getting to the point ma'am. Just imagine, if I am playing with your [#%!] twice a day and only screwing you once a year. Wouldn't you go mad too?"


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
#133669 - 01/08/01 05:37 PM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  

**DONOTDELETE**
Unregistered
Anonymous
ah, now we're getting better. that was pretty funny. sarcasm i can do easily, but, damn, i wish i could tell a joke....

#133670 - 01/09/01 11:42 AM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
Debbie Offline
 
Debbie  Offline
Priceless, Zeke. Just priceless. Really enjoy your humor. Keep it up. You're keeping me sane........
Debbie

#133671 - 01/09/01 11:49 AM Re: Jane... I think you will enjoy this more  
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 758
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline
.
CAPTAIN bigzeke  Offline
It seems that when God was making the world, he called an over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.? Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?"? But the Lord was adamant that was all that man could have. Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "Ten is plenty for me."

Man spoke up, eagerly.

"Can I have the other ten?"? The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten.? Again, man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?"? The lion said of course he could.

Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years, but like the others, ten was sufficient and again, man pleaded,
"Can I have the other ten?"

.....Which explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself!!! --


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

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