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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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My son, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked me, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"
I answered immediately, "Son, I don't know. No man has lived that long yet."
-------------------------------------------- I got into my grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores I'd been putting off for weeks.
I cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window to me, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"
I thought for a minute, then answered, "The lady who lives here, lets me sleep with her."
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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All eyes turned to stare as a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her.
"Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth.
"This is it," she calmly explained. "I came as Adam."
"Adam?" her host exploded. "You don't even have a dick!"
She replied, "Give me a few minutes."
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
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*shaking my head* Sounds like a deal to me!!!!!! Deb
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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Mrs. Zeke goes to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that the Zekester is missing. The policeman asked for a description. She says, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. The next-door neighbor protests, "Zeke is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." Mrs.Zeke replied, "Yes, but who wants him back?
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 434
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You are a riot Zeke. You cheered up an otherwise dreary, rainy day here in NW Florida. Wish I was on "Temptation Island" right now.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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A guy gets onto a crowded elevator and notices a very voluptuous young woman standing next to him. In his excitement, he drops his briefcase and papers scatter all over the floor of the elevator.
While bending down to retrieve his belongings, the woman also leans over to offer her assistance. In and amongst the others also riding the elevator, the man looses his balance and bumps into the woman, gently brushing her breast with his elbow.
"I'm terribly sorry. Please excuse me," says the man, slightly blushing. "If you don't mind me saying, though, if your heart is as soft as your breast, you must be a very warm, loving woman."
Surprised, but witty nonetheless, the woman replies, "Well, thanks for the compliment." There is a moment of awkward silence.
Finally, the woman leans over to the man and whispers in his ear, "By the way, if your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 306."
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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The Zekester had a very hard time getting married. Why? You may ask. Because the Zekester was searching high and low for a virgin to wed. All my friends always asked, " Zeke my man why is it so important to you that your wife must be a virgin?" My reply was always shamefully the same. "To avoid criticism of course!"
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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The Zekester was in a strange city and was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 365 East West Street.
By mistake, however, he went to 365 West East Street, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised, but intrigued the Zekester. She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover, and that someone would be with him soon.
Zeke loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair, and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered. Finally, the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead, entered the room and found the Zekester sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.
"My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."
"Well," Zeke replied, "if you're going to complain about a couple of inches, then I'll take my business elsewhere!"
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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