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#136036 05/14/01 06:41 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 680
OP Offline
A man and woman are getting all snugly in bed.

The passion is heating up, but then the lady stops and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

The guy says "WHAT? "

The lady explains that he must get in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.

Then he realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his woman to take all three of them.

Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each.

After that they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The lady is so excited. She thinks her guy has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. He says "you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."

The woman is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."

The man stops and says, "No, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
The woman's face goes blank.

He Continues-"I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode.

The guy says, "You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a Man".

#136037 05/14/01 08:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,205
Argh matey...ya hit a soft spot...she be running aground any time now....batten down the hatches and prepare to come about...Stand by for heavy rolls too, cause when Diann see's this she's gonna let ya have it!!!!! With Both Barrels..(aside) good one...hehe

Life May Be a Beach...I prefer Reefs...
#136038 05/15/01 11:17 AM
even i liked this one. i've never owned a pair of shoes more than $40. don't own a tennis bracelet. don't even shop at department stores. hmmmm, i'm a real prize!

yup, those swells will be over the sternwall, cap'n! all hands to the pumps.

#136039 05/16/01 10:02 AM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 680
OP Offline
I thought fer sure this one would get some of you going! C'mon! Where's all my lady friends? This board is slowing down! Either that or yer ALL LOW MAINTENANCE...yeah, right. [Linked Image]
C'mon ye pretty wenches, this here pirate's got an itch that needs scratchin'!! Pull up alongside and prepare yerself t'be boarded......AAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

#136040 05/16/01 10:56 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 138
Well, if we are all going to end up on SP someday, we need to learn to strip down to the basics. No need for all those expensive digs in paradise baby. Au Natural is the way to go there. Now maybe we could come up with something else the man be holding back from his lady: a nice massage with oil, a midnight cruise with a bottle of wine, candlelight dinner on the beach, something she would really be sad to have given to her then taken back.
Punta Rebel Girl

Debbie, the Punta Girl
#136041 05/16/01 12:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 4,268
Wow Punta... a woman after my own heart...

#136042 05/16/01 02:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 507
Thar She Blows!

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must
immediately change THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written
consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him
to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether
she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, and not
what she said.

15. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male
must cater to her every whim.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to
Rule #5.

18. Every house belongs to the oldest Female living there.

#136043 05/16/01 04:18 PM
#14 is for me. why can't he just do everything i want? all the time.

(hee, hee, good one, margarita!)

pirate, you might want to use some benedryl cream for that itch (or hand cream!!!!).

#136044 05/17/01 04:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 138
OVER 40, where are you dude? You accuse us of being slow, and now we haven't heard a word out of ya. Where are ya mon?
Punta Rebel Girl

Debbie, the Punta Girl
#136045 05/17/01 05:11 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 387
Hey dere Pirate.....
whew!!! and i thought ya had me all figured out!!! this just isn't me at all dude; i mean, the mere thawt of uttering them words 'i don't feel like it' blows my mind!!! dem words have never come outta dis chicks mouth. you mean to tell me dere are broads out dere tawkin that tawk? sheesh... whatta disgrace baby. tell ya what tho..... my shopping usually comes after da fact [Linked Image]
oh, and where'd ya hear bout dem shoes... i mean, $200 for both??!?! i'm dere baby!!! go figure they're selling two at a time.... i usually pay that for each shoe. is this in colly?? cuz dis hicksville place has been behind the times; wow...and to think dere finally catching up to the times!!!

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