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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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TEXAN Test Answers

In any school district, one must give credit to the creative minds among us. These are actual test answers from various schools in the Texas metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?

A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O,and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does varicose mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term Caesarian Section.

A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: What does the word benign mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?

A: It lays eggs.

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
Okay Smart Ass!!!!! Being jealous of where we live is very unbecoming.......
Have you added the tidy bowl drinks to your menus at home yet???

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,419

SWMBO says that article actually came from her home state of Kentucky. I mean she should know about these things. She was explaining to friends last night that the shool systems in KY never have Sex Ed and Drivers Training in the same semester. Each district only has one mule.

Yer welcome.

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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Now Debbie I don't recall me missing any of my vacation because of any SUNNY Florida airport being under water. Heard through the grapevine that they are going to import some SP water taxi's to Ol' George Bush International to transport passengers around terminals down there.

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,976
OK Capt....

You know that it is known all over the world that Texas has the most beautiful women in the US, and that things are Bigger and Better in TEXAS!!!! Sorry about Florida!!!LOL... Anyway we have the best meat here!!!!LOL... Any Florida gal will tell you that!!!!

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 713
Re the quiz: How did you manage to get ahold of Gee Dubya's presidential papers so soon in his (first and only) term in office?

Susan Guberman-Garcia, Attorney at Law. Phone: 510-792-2639
Fax/Voicemail:: 510-405-2016 Email: [email protected]

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