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#137217 07/06/01 11:24 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
OP Offline
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in
diameter. He
then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the
open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar
was full? They agreed it was. The students laughed.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your
health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full".

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
your car. The sand is everything else,...the small stuff. If you put the sand
into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The
same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you".

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out
dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a
dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the
things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then,... a student then took the jar which the other students and the
professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beliken. Of
course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar
truly full.

Which proves: that no matter how full your life is, there is always room
for a beliken

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
#137218 07/06/01 11:38 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
OP Offline

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane.

The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs.

The man isn't sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can't believe that he's seeing what he's seeing.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.

The man has finally had all he can handle.

He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?"

The woman replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition, every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm. "

The man, now feeling badly, says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper"

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
#137219 07/06/01 03:15 PM
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 322
You're TOO funny. I got that 'story' or whatever you'd call it on the philosophy of life from a friend via email a week or so ago (minus the last part - she's never heard of Beliken, but I'm planning on initiating her to A/C life in October). When I saw your post, I thought... THIS is coming from Captain BIGZEKE? Then I scrolled down to the end and saw the addition of the Beliken. Very clever, very funny... very appropriate! ;-) Keep 'em coming, funny man. There's always room for humor, just like there's always room for Beliken!

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